For Marsha

 

You were just barely 4 years old, small, white, fluff covered with light brown spots. We called you a wild rabbit because you resisted capture anytime we came to collect you from your outside running area. You were known officially as Marshmallow however, you were commonly called Marsha, Fluffbutt, fatty, and Mallow Mallow. We loved petting your soft fur far more than you seemed to enjoy it, though you did love nose and head pets in the morning. You often got treats of strawberry tops, apple, spinach, broccoli, and your favorite, bananas.

                You were the first time I saw my children really grieve. They all loved you, and I loved you. A small, innocent, often scared creature that was ours to love and care for. We loved you in spite of your less than stellar personality, because you were part of our family. We found you on a Saturday morning, and buried you in between two fichus trees in our backyard in a spot you would have liked. We put carrots and rose leaves which you were also very fond of in your box with you. All the children took care to make your resting place beautiful. Deacon made a cross with your name on it. Quinn and Cora painted some rocks and placed some leaves on your grave. Cora who loved you the most cried all day, you were as she often said “her child”.

                Thank you for being part of our family, the time is always too short, regardless if it is 4 years or 40. It is a testament to the spirit God placed inside of us that we have such capacity to love all creatures, even tiny ferocious, occasionally sweet ones. Thank you for teaching my children about their responsibility to care for and love living things, for teaching them that death is an unfortunate and inevitable part of life, and that we cannot take our tomorrows for granted. My favorite was when I would let you run in the front yard until your heart was content. You would do your sprint runs, happy wild hops, chew on leaves, and then run in circles around me until you came close wanting some love. You made me think of the rabbit I had growing up, named Buster. We loved you, we will miss you, and remember you.

UK Summer Trip 2023

 

Summer vacation 2023 was the trip we meant to take back in 2021 before the worlds fear of covid shut it down, what a waste all that fear ended up being, thankfully we did not let it rob of our precious time. The UK finally opened its borders, and so we embarked upon a two-week trip of exploration.

We began in the massive city of London, checking into an AirBNB that was neither clean nor quite how it was pictured online…. A few hours of frustration later they had it mostly cleaned up, though one of the showers was less than useful and made a God-awful noise when the water was turned on it ended up being an ok base for our exploration. We stayed in Camden Town, which seemed to be about 15min from all the major stops we were making on the tube and bus lines. Navigating those with you guys was kind of fun, and very foreign to our western US culture of almost never utilizing mass transit. Quinn, you seemed to try and assert your independence whenever the crowds were the most crushing by pulling your hand away, which we immediately grabbed back and held on to all the tighter!

The main sights we explored were Westminster Abby, The Tower of London, Tower Bridge, Parliament, Westminster and a few other odds and ends. The weather was perfect for us, your health however, was not quite. Deacon you were hacking up a lung at times, and sprang about 3 nosebleeds a day for the first few days. Cora your lungs got progressively worse as well. We had two really good days seeing the sights in London but then you guys started really struggling, more on that later. Deacon as always you loved the arms and armaments, Cora you seemed to enjoy the architecture, food, and along with your sister the crown jewels in the Tower. The old moat area around the tower was really beautiful as they had it planted with all these wonderful wildflowers, we got some great pictures out there in the sunshine. We also all went up to The Shard- 88 floors above the city, and we had a perfectly clear day to take in the view. After we strolled along the river and while mom and I had coffee Deacon and Quinn chased each other around a small park and played some games they made up. When we went up to the Tower Bridge there is a glass walkway- I guess its probably about 20 stories or so up above the water, so when you walk out on the glass you are just seemingly walking on air. Deacon you were the first to venture out, so I guess you take the prize for being the bravest, followed very shortly by your sisters. When we went down to the bottom they pulled up the bridge while a navy ship passed underneath, it was a really cool moment as the crew was on deck and waiving goodbye. Quinn and Deacon you couldn’t see so I put one of you in each of my arms and held you up so you could get a better view.

Our first foray from the city was an all-day bus tour of Warwick Castle, the Cotswolds including Stratford upon Avon, as well as Oxford. This was also the first day that you guys felt really lousy, Cora and Deacon anyway. You two slept on the bus between stops, and when we did stop you basically sat in one spot while Mom, Quinn and I explored a little bit. Deacon you briefly lit up at Warwick when we got you a cool helmet and bow and arrow, but you were just feeling really lousy, we also got you guys some ice cream there but it didn’t do much to revive you. The stop in Oxford was fun, I had been there for work but coming back to experience it with you was great. We strolled around for a bit with the tour guide, Quinn you kept at the head of the pack the whole time, even without us, always being brave and bold like you are. After the walking tour I stayed put with you three as you were all tuckered out and Mom went off to explore some more. The only downside to seeing so much in a day is you only kind of scratch the surface of each place you visit.

We tried sleeping in the next day as Cora and Deacon were still not feeling well, and then took our first rail trip to Bath. I got us on the wrong train the first time, but luckily we ended up going in the right direction and quickly switched to the correct one a few stops down the line! I had paid extra for the first-class tickets, which I think was worth it, you guys all got a kick out of the seat size, food options, and Cora you mostly sat by yourself near as we could find seats, being the oldest and most capable, hope you didn’t feel left out but such is life traveling as a family of five. Bath itself was a beautiful city, used as a spa retreat since the Romans came to England’s shores, from there the city kept growing. Unfortunately you guys were struggling pretty hard again, so we really just strolled around a little, took in one of the more scenic spots where the river runs through the city, and then headed home to London. In a fun turn of events Quinn threw up that night, and I ended up sleeping on this little fold out couch with a nice hard metal bar running down the center so she could sleep with Mom.

Our boat tour of the Dover cliffs was canceled due to high winds, so we decided to take a recovery day in London. Deacon you slept for about 13 hours. We just lazed around and tried to give your bodies some rest so we could get the trip back on track, so it ended up working out, though someday I hope we get to see Dover together.

The next day Cora and Deacon were feeling much better, Quinn still not so great, but we left London and headed via train to York. The rail journey was beautiful, traveling through the countryside. Cora I think you snuck about 3 sodas, Deacon you sampled some of the food the English are known for, such treats as Cheese and Pickle sandwiches and Coronation Chicken…. Interesting to say the least. Quinn you did ok but mostly napped. I got the idea to find Quinn a wheelchair in York so she wouldn’t get exhausted and prolong her illness (which mom and I were also starting to feel). Quinn when I showed up at the hotel with the wheelchair you kind of felt like Royalty, and Cora of course gave you grief for being spoiled. The wheelchair turned out to be a hit cause we did quite a bit of walking and it got us to the front of a very long line for the Viking museum. I didn’t request special treatment but they came and found us in line and we didn’t pass up the offer! That night in York we did a ghost tour which you guys all really enjoyed- just true old stories from such an old city. We had fun exploring “the shambles” an old area of the city with fascinating architecture and history.

From York we headed north once again to Edinburg Scotland. We arrived on a beautiful sunny day and were delighted to find a much better rental waiting for us at the end of the Royal Mile. You guys wanted to relax and Deacon you found Jaws on the tv so Mom and I took a quick walk to the top of a nearby hill and got a beautiful view over the city, complete with someone playing the bagpipes below us. The next morning I had a wheelchair delivered and off we went to explore. We did another walking tour but the highlights for you guys were the fantastic National Museum of Scotland and the Royal Castle. Quinn’s wheelchair got her a ride to the top of the castle through the same tunnel that the Queen used to use, we also were pointed out to some wheelchair accessible bathrooms that we had to ourselves. The view was incredible, a bit chilly as Scotland is, but we got some fun photos of you all by the cannons overlooking the city. One super fun story is that Quinn still wasn’t feeling 100% so at a pub we stopped by for lunch she started feeling ill, and needed to throw up, and the only thing we had handy was a water bottle that I held while she puked a few times, thankfully quietly…. Ah the joys of illness while traveling. Luckily that was about the end of the sicknesses impact on the family.

Then came a day I was almost equal parts excited and nervous about- the day I would drive in the UK for the first time, and the day we would handle birds of prey! We rented a smaller SUV- I think the exact same volvo we rented in Spain, and headed about an hours drive north to a small town where we found the falconry school. It was set in a beautiful location near a stream with farm fields and small wooded areas spread throughout. We started by handling 3 little White Faced Scops Owls, they fritted about and would sometimes land 3 at a time on our arms. They had beautiful orange eyes and you all had so much fun handling and observing them as we took a pleasant little walk through wildflowers and woods. Next up we moved to something native to home, the Harris Hawk. Our bird was 23 years old, but smart and agile, swooping down from nearby treetops to land gracefully on our arms for her reward. Our guide told us unlike dogs or some other domesticated animals the handler serves the birds, not the other way around, the birds have high expectations of their handlers, and trust can easily be broken. We then took a quick break for sodas for you guys and coffee for mom and I at a nearby café, then returned for the final two birds we would handle. Next up was a Red-Tailed Kite. We didn’t so much handle as watch an aerobatic display she put on, zooming close to the ground, darting up high, and making sudden and steep turns effortlessly. Our grand finale was a beautiful south American Black Chested Buzzard Eagle. She soared high on the thermals and then when we raised our glove came swooping down, almost to ground level and then at the last moment would fly up and land, wings outstretched on our gloved hands ever so gently.  It was a highlight watching you all handle the birds, and experience the same joy at the beauty of their flight and feathered artwork of bodies.

Our next journey was to the Isle of Sky, about a 4 hour drive north. By this time I was nearly an old hand and driving on the wrong side of the road, thankfully I only had to drive in the big city of Edinburg once! Our rental on the Isle of Sky was spectacular. We had a wonderful view of the sea, and it was a great layout for our family. The night we arrived we were tired from the long but beautiful drive there, including a stop at Stirling Castle. We sat down at the most expensive meal we would have on the trip- after sitting outside in the cold wind while mom and I had gin and tonic. The meal wasn’t great but watching deacon eat the Langoustines- kind of like small lobsters was a lot of fun, for a kid who is picky about food he took joy in using the plyers and getting every bit of meat he could from them!

Driving around Sky was wonderful, often little one way roads that had many pull offs where you could let traffic pass. All around there was spectacular scenery and areas open for exploration. We did a hike to the Fairy Pools, following a stream that originated in the dramatic mountains above, sloping down emerald curves to feed its crystal clear waters. You guys all complained at first, as is common, but once we hit the trail and began to explore you perked up and began to have fun and enjoy it. Also- snacks always helped, knowing I had a backpack full of goodies to be distributed at various rest stops always aided your legs in carrying onward. I enjoyed all the hikes, sitting and taking in the beautiful vistas, often Deacon and Quinn would play some made up game, Cora you more often also sat and enjoyed the views, pondering things you mostly kept to yourself. We continued to explore and one morning also took a boat ride to Lake Coruisk. Along the way we saw many seals, and after departing the boat had another spectacular place almost to ourselves. The day had started off cold but quickly warmed up, you three and mom “lizarding” as Cora phrased it, on some dark volcanic rocks, while I took the other approach and removed all my clothing for a swim, or at least tried to. I ended up getting about halfway in before I realized the deeper it got the colder it got and perhaps it wasn’t the best idea. Cora you came down and asked me what I was doing, when you found out I was naked (cause I told you, you couldn’t see anything due to me being halfway underwater) you quickly said “gross” and headed back for your rocks!

After three nights in Sky we reluctantly left and headed north to the village of Ballater in Cairngorms National Park. The first day we explored the Royal families summer home, which was of course quite lovely. I enjoyed the woods around it quite a bit, with a picturesque river flowing nearby. We also did a really nice hike that had a bunch of great overlooks through the woods, different than Sky but equally beautiful to me. You guys once again loved the snacks, we found some Nutella “biscuts” as the Brits would say that were a particular highlight. Speaking of sweets we also found our favorite ice cream place during the entire trip in our village in Ballater. Quinn your highlight of the trip was a horseback ride we did on our last day. The four of you rode Norwegian Fjord horses, while I got the worlds tallest horse, thankfully for me he was quite well behaved and responsive, as I was determined not to let him sense my unease that I always get on horseback. We had a great ride through some countryside, and one stream crossing where mom and Quinns horses decided to cool themselves by splashing water with their front legs directly up and behind them! Mom got particularly soaked.

The drive back to Edinburg for our flight home was uneventful, the last night in Scotland was tons of fun as the five of us shared a too small hotel room that I booked. Deacon you and I managed to sleep in a twin size bed, somehow Cora finagled a twin all to herself while Mom and Quinn managed on a full-size sofa bed.

I had so much fun exploring with you all. I love our family trips, there is difficulty, sharing tight spaces and some bickering, but there are also many sweet moments and memories that I will cherish when someday you are all much older and starting families of your own. 

Cora, this year so far has been a lot of volleyball and you getting a lot older all of a sudden! You love Taylor Swift, calling yourself a Swiftie. I embrace that but exhort you to also find some other artists to spread the love some. You are very careful with your money, well over $1,000 saved, you say its for a phone, but we are not sure when you are getting one of those just yet. You get funnier and funnier- in a very clever sort of way, and you are very clever with some of the stuff you come up with and comments you make. It always cracks me up and I see a lot of myself and personality in you. I also enjoy slowing down and having more in depth discussions with you, often about conflicts you are having with us or your siblings. When we slow down we are able to connect logically as well as emotionally, and we are both better able to hear one another. Sometimes I think you feel left out, or that we are harder on you, or favor Quinn, but when I get to spend time talking with you I think I do a good job of healing those hurts and explaining that we love you all equally and in some ways uniquely as you are all uniquely created by God with special gifts, talents, and personalities that flow from it. You make me proud all the time with your responsibility and good choices, and your ability to have fun and make wonderful friends. Watching you grow is fills me with pride, but there are pangs of sadness as well as the little girl I knew fades further and further away. Sometimes Facebook shows me old photos or a memory of you singing frozen songs in dress up dresses pops into my head and I hurt a little cause it seems so long ago. The joy of who you are becoming doesn’t mean I am fully ready to let go of who you were, and I wonder sometimes which memories will endure, for me, and for you.

 

Quinn, Perhaps it is the same in all families that the youngest of the group is usually the light and laughter. You have a bright personality, capable of great joy and great grief in quite momentous swings. I worry sometimes already about the teenage years as you will be different from your sister. Cora seems to bend more on the logic side of response, where as you seem to bend very strongly towards the emotional. Neither is better or worse, just different and each needs to be understood for its shortcomings so one cand find the healthy balance in life. I love how completely you love, how generous you are with you affection, how you defend us all and so often compliment and praise. We all refer to you as the family cheerleader. You give me the biggest and best hugs, and usually when you are very upset I can still cheer you up with a song. Sometimes you will be angry or sad about something and pouting in your bed, ill come to lay next to you and you’ll ignore me or say go away, but when I start to sing you’ll relax and slowly roll over and throw your arms around my neck and give me a big hug. I think your heart needs to know a bit more often than some, how loved you are, and I always have to work on being patient and gentle with you. A few times I have not been, but when I ask you for forgiveness you always are so quick to give it, though I still feel regret and shame with how upset I get at times. My nature is to be hard on myself, I am getting much better about not having that same approach with each of you. I loved our time in Scotland together, exploring with you and seeing the bold independent bravery you tackle the world with.

Alaska Adventure

 

In 2022 our big family vacation was to what is often called “the last frontier”, Alaska. I had been wanting to go for a few years, and we were going to do a cruise but still didn’t trust the COVID Tsars to not destroy our vacation if there was some shipboard outbreak or new crazy rule to keep us “safe”. Therefore we decided to do it on our own, with a fair amount of assistance from Moms Aunt who lives in Anchorage.

The first week we explored around Anchorage some and then headed north to Talkeetna. Talkeetna sits along the river and to the south of Denali, both the mountain and National Park. On our journey there we did some hiking at old mines, and watched Mom’s cousin Cole paraglide in a beautiful mountain pass. We had been planning on doing an aerial tour of the mountain, including landing on a glacier however, the weather did not cooperate. We booked a boat tour to go up the river though and so that made for a nice alternative adventure.

When we got back to Anchorage we headed out via the Alaska railroad to Seward. It was a four hour train ride through simply spectacular country. We roamed around the train cars to some with large viewing windows where we could see the mountains, glaciers, rivers, and wildlife as we passed by. I got you guys some special drinks, some kind of 7up with blue raspberry syrup concoction. When we arrived in Seward it was freezing cold, and we were starving so after dropping the bags off we headed for lunch and to explore the town. It was really beautiful there- like everyplace else in Alaska it seems. We spent the remainder of that day exploring the Sea Life center, having coffee and ice cream in local shops, and then a fancy dinner that night which was a fun treat since we don’t eat out that often. For dessert we got about 4 different kinds which you guys were quite happy about. Ill tell you- sharing one hotel room with 2 beds and 1 cot is not necessarily comfortable, but I will always fondly remember us being all cozy together when you guys were young.

The next day our big adventure from Seward was a 7-hour fjord/ whale watching tour. I got some great pictures of Quinn and Deacon on the bow of the ship, binoculars up, searching for whales. I was really worried you would all get seasick on such a long trip but you all did awesome. We saw humpbacks, Orcas- which were spectacular, puffins, sea otters, sea lions, and a host of other wildlife I cant quite recall right now. Pulling up to the bays that the glaciers had carved between the mountains and seeing the beautiful blue of the ice was awe inspiring. The crew snagged some glacier ice, about 200 years old and made some drinks for you guys which you really loved.

After returning for Seward we borrowed Uncle Dennis’s truck and made our way to Homer. Homer sits on the ocean as well, and you can see distant snow covered mountain peaks and volcanoes all across the water from it. We rented a little house outside of town which had a hot tub and was a perfect base for exploring. We had two big adventures planned for Homer, fishing and a bear adventure!

This was the big adventure we had really been looking forward to, and that I splurged a small fortune on- cause who knows what the future holds so make the memories now. We woke up early and headed down to a small lake where our Viking Beaver float plane was parked. We were all a bit nervous, but very excited! Deacon and Quinn you sat in the back with me, Mom and Cora sat in the middle with another man who had also booked the trip. We flew for a little over an hour past some wild rugged terrain, volcanoes, and the ocean to Katmai National Park. As we came in for a water landing and slowed down I was looking out the window and suddenly started spotting Brown Bears everywhere along the banks eating salmon.

We took a short walk up to the ranger station where we dropped our bags in a bear secure room and had a brief 10min tutorial on how to behave in the park and what to do around the bears. Fittingly as we were being briefed a bear walked right through camp. From there it was about a mile walk to Brooks Falls, it was more than a bit uncomfortable being on the trail, occasionally we would pass people, but not that many, but we passed a lot of bears, including a momma and her cubs which we stayed well clear of. Once we got to Brooks Falls we checked in with a Ranger then waited for our turn to go out on the viewing platform where we got 30min of time to observe. After you go put your name back on the list as sometimes there is a wait, that day we were able to go out 4 times. Standing on the deck you simply marvel at the bears, everywhere, fishing in different locations with different strategies. One fat older bear named Otis didn’t move, he had his spot and every 10min or so he would pluck a salmon out of the river and devour it. Smaller cubs would follow their mothers, some sat at the top of the falls and waited until the salmon jumped out of the water trying to make it upstream, some swam against the current downstream and dove under to catch fish.

It was so special to be able to sit there and watch nature unfolding before us. Being so close to these immensely powerful animals who really didn’t care at all that we were there as their main occupation was with the swimming food source and storing up calories for winter. The park itself was also beautiful. Alaska is so special because its one of the few places harsh enough to not be very populated, you get a sense of nature before there were so many humans around, and at least for me, it makes me long for more solitude.

Now, we were not out of the woods yet, so to speak. On our way back to the plane just the 5 of us were walking down the trail when along came a large bear walking directly up the trail. I started clapping and saying “hey bear” which is an odd expression everyone seems to use, as we all slowly backed up, thinking he would eventually leave the trail and head off into the woods. He did not. Thankfully we backed into another 4 adults, and all of us stepped off the trail to allow the bear to pass. He did not. Instead he decided to also move off the trail and towards us, at which point we all got very nervous and quickly moved around him to his right and though not running, moved at a brisk pace down the trail. Since we flew there I could not bring bear spray as its in a pressurized container, and no guns are allowed in the park, most likely cause some trigger happy tourists would shoot a bear that wasn’t going to actually harm them. Being unarmed, with you guys to look after was not a lot of fun though. After that all three of you were ready to be done, Deacon you specifically told me “I don’t want to do this anymore”. We had one more brief encounter on our way out, which was not great as your nerves were already fried, and then got to watch two bears playfully wrestling about 30 yards down the beach from our plane. We had a shorter flight on the way home as we had a tailwind, we all wolfed down our sandwiches and snacks after the long day. That night, sitting in our hot tub recalling the events of the day I pretended like there was bear coming up behind us and said “hey bear”- it was great watching the looks on your faces!

The next day we parted ways, Girls on a beach/ shopping day in Homer and the boys took to the open sea on a fishing trip. Deacon you got to do at 8 years old what I had to wait until 38 years old to do- some deep sea fishing! We were on a smaller boat with another man and his wife and we started the day going after King Salmon. We each caught our limit of 1, but the highlight maybe of my whole trip was watching you bring the King in all by yourself. I got a great picture of your face after and a video of it as well, I was so proud of you and grateful we got to have the experience together. The weather started turning on us some as the clouds rolled in and a light rain started but we persevered to something I really was after- Halibut. The captain took care of baiting and setting the lines and we sat stationary with our bait at the bottom waiting for these strange flat powerful fish to strike. Our limit was 2 each, I got my two and you landed one of yours. They fought like crazy, they are pure muscle it seems, which maybe is why they are so tasty. At one point due to the cold and fact we didn’t quite have the right gear you wanted to give up, but I told you- “there is no way out of this, it doesn’t end until we catch our fish, so you have to decide in your mind there is no escape”, that seemed to work and you were ok for the rest of the trip, surprisingly you didn’t get seasick at all. We took the fish to a packer where they filet, vacuum seal and flash freeze everything so we could pack it in a cooler for the flight home.

Our last full day was spent with our neighbors father learning how to do some river fishing on the Kenai peninsula during the annual salmon run. We had a blast walking through the woods on a path known only to locals, then wading knee deep into the river and catching fish. They were real fighters and we forgot our net, which means the two I caught and actually landed had to be clubbed with rocks before they escaped. Deacon you got close to landing some, but they were really tough to haul in. That night we all just enjoyed some family time, telling a lot of stories about the week and remarking on all that we had seen and done.

With big trips there are always little moments that stand out as well. Simple things like our quest to get ice cream every day, often at the roadside stands that are frequent in Alaska where mom and I would get coffee. Deacon, I love watching you and Quinn play little games and explore together. Cora you truly admire the beauty of things you were seeing and being the adventurer you are at heart. I’ll remember eating strawberries from Aunt Sheela’s garden, taking you guys to the park and watching the 3 of you play and make believe- which I know in my heart those days will be brief as you grow older. It was such a wonderful trip, with many experiences most people will never get to have. I was so grateful that God has blessed us with the time, resources, and health to be able to do such things. I never take for granted, not a single moment, that our lives are a blessing, regardless of if we are halfway across the world or at a park 5min from our home, what I love most is being with you, away from distraction, and hopefully out in Gods good creation enjoying the beauty of it all.