Deacon Turns 5

Well Deacon you just turned 5, figured I would write you so you could remember a bit about what life was like around this time in your life. First of all, you requested a dinosaur themed party, and we delivered. Mom and I dressed like Jurassic Park Rangers, rented a Dino bounce house, and decorated the house with a lot of Dinosaur themed decorations. Pretty much all your little buddies showed up- Micha Butler, Aneas Quijano, Jude, Weston Tomich, Marco Bazilus, Winston, Hank Zuk, Lucas Bevens, and Wyatt Stevens. You were so excited to hang out with your friends and have a boys only party- up to this point we usually combined parties for you and Cora. You got a lot of gifts as usual, favorites being a raptor mask that scared Quinn- that one came from Grandpa Ken and Grandma Patty. You also liked the Lego sets that were pretty much all dinosaur themed as well.

I don’t really remember anything from when I was 5, and I don’t think there are memories written down about it either. This will be your last year before school starts and so it is kind of bitter sweet. Right now, you love movies with monsters and dinosaurs, you don’t seem to scare too easily, you like fighting and wrestling with your friends, and you will ask 500 questions about whatever it may be on your mind. You are so handsome and sweet, you share with your sisters and play so nicely with them most of the time. You and Cora will get into it from time to time, but I can tell the desire of your heart is to just love on them and have fun. One quick memory, you hurt your hip the other day and you said “my tummy ankle is hurting” that was a good one! You have also figured out riding your bike and are nearly free of training wheels- you most likely already would be if we pushed it a little harder.

Five years goes by so quickly, I look at you now and wonder how much I will remember of it when you are a man someday. I guess I just want to remember my sweet brave boy, who saw the wonder of the world untethered by the realities that come with age. I am so happy that you have gotten to live this life of adventure, full of people who love you and surround your life with blessings. I still think about how God reached out and protected you in your mothers womb, and how terribly I would have missed you if you had not made it. I kiss you goodnight after prayers every night, if Quinn is still awake she kisses her DD (as she calls you) goodnight also. I think of how blessed I am to have you in my life and as my son. I love you forever and always.

Mom and Dad Sail Away

Well, mom and I just returned from our great 2018 adventure. We set sail on Oceana cruise lines from Venice, Italy to Athens, Greece; stopping in Dubrovnik Croatia, Kotor Montenegro, Santorini, Mykonos, and lastly Rhodes Greece. In total we spent 13 days away on our trip- kind of a lot, and towards the end we were missing you three like crazy, but after being home for an hour it kind of felt like we had never left.

I have no idea why, but traveling is one of my favorite things. Ever since I was young I had a sense of wonder about the world, and not always faraway places- even exploring my neighborhood or the mountain preserve was one of my favorite past times. Luckily my career has provided plenty of support for getting out and about, and now financially we are able to do some of these further flung trips as well, though even if our means were less there are still a multitude of options. We did a cruise back in 2015 and really enjoyed it, this one was great as well- I think we may sail the high seas a lot in retirement! We are looking to plan a 2020 Disney cruise and bring you all along, I am thinking Alaska as I have always wanted to see it and getting somewhere cool in the summer sounds great.

Venice was our first stop, chances are it could be underwater by the time you all grow up- so if you ever want to see it you better get there early in life. It’s incredible that people decided to settle there, evidently, they were looking to hide out from barbarian tribes and then decades later they had a flourishing city built on trade. The Venetian empire eventually spread all the way to the places we visited in Greece, and beyond, a powerful economy makes for powerful armies. Venice itself is incredibly charming, with the uniqueness of the canals and narrow streets winding through the mazelike town. One of the highlights for me was St Marks Basilica, for more reasons than the name…. We did a tour that entered at night and we were seated underneath the central dome of the Basilica. The lights were slowly turned on to reveal a gold mosaic covering the ceiling which was also adorned with paintings and sculptures.

Next up before Greece was Croatia and Montenegro. Croatia is quite beautiful and lately has been gaining in popularity due to its scenic coastline and also its prominent role in a popular show called Game of Thrones. Dubrovnik was a walled seaport that sits below an imposing mountain, the water is crystal clear and a light turquoise color which is quite striking. We took a boat ride down the coastline and then strolled through the busy town. These older towns surrounded by walls are not large- due to the immense cost and effort to build the walls around them. The streets are narrow for the most part and paved with cobblestone. To Americans like us the charm is incredible, we are not used to anything older than 100 years in most cases. A reoccurring thought that came to me was how so many of the places we have visited seemed to have had their pinnacle- in many cases hundreds, or thousands of years ago, and nowadays live off the memory of the glory years. People come to see what was, not what is.

Montenegro was a welcome break from the summer heat. Shortly after exiting the boat in the bay of Kotor we boarded a bus for a drive up a nerve fraying switchback filled mountain road. Once we finally reached the top we were rewarded with amazing views of the bay and mountains that rose across the horizon. We stopped at a small restaurant perched at on the mountain for a cold beer and light sandwich- you know come to think of it, it may have been a warm beer. We spend the rest of the day touring the old capital and then the old city which was equally charming as Dubrovnik in my opinion. We took shelter from a sudden downpour in a small shop, the owner of which kept urging us to stay when I would move to leave. At first I thought we would annoy him by just hanging out waiting for the rain to pass, but he was happy to have us. It was a good thing too because we found a really cool copper clock with roman numerals and the astrological signs- similar to one in a square we saw in Venice. Before we left he presented us with a bible printed in both English and Montenegrin, he flipped to John 3:16, I felt very sure it was not blind chance we ended up in his shop during the downpour. One thing I may long remember is pulling out of the bay of Kotor, sitting on our balcony shielded from a downpour watching as the coast drifted away. The air was so cool and fresh, we just reminisced on the beauty of the day and how lovely everything was, just one of those small moments that last.

After a day at sea we rounded out some Greek islands, Santorini, Mykanos and Rhodes. Santorini was barren but beautiful, white washed homes perched on the slopes of plunging mountains that led to a sapphire sea. We walked some of the streets and then rented the worlds crappiest car, a “smart” car. Clever bit of advertising that was- most overpriced underbuilt POC ever put together. We had lunch in Megalochori, and then drove to Vichada Beach. The beach has some beautiful and striking white rock formations behind it, the sand is black and volcanic- as the island itself was once a giant volcano that blew out to form is crescent shape. It was our first time swimming in the Aegean Sea, which was lovely as the black sand seemed to warm up the water to a perfect temperature.

The highlight of Rhodes for me was the old medieval town. It was surrounded by high walls and a moat and had never been taken by force. All the nations of Europe had stationed Knights there and because the city was never sacked it still remained as it did hundreds of years ago. Walking along the narrow streets you just had to wonder about all of those who had come before, what their lives and concerns were, who they had loved and what they had spent their life pursuing. I found a bronze hand knocker much to my delight, I had seen them on many doors around Greece. We were well off the beaten path when we found the shop on a deserted street. The old woman inside was so kind and showed us pictures of the craftsman who made it and his initials in the hand. The knocker currently sits at my desk at home, but hopefully soon I will find somewhere to hang it.

Mykanos was the last stop, an island currently known for the charm of Mykanos town, as well as the party atmosphere at its beaches where many people much younger than I celebrate into the early hours of the morning- never really was my scene. We spent most of the day on the island of Delos. The island was once home to a thriving city that is now all ruins, barely any of it has been excavated, but what has is truly impressive. Once again I found myself marveling at all the things these people had accomplished so long ago, they had mosaics decorating their multi story homes, theaters and trading, there was advertising for a number of commercial concerns, artistry and industry- they lived thousands of years ago but in so many ways were just like us. The bible says there is nothing new under the sun, my travels and experiences have proved it true. Arriving back in Mykanos we strolled through the streets to the bus stop and boarded one for Platis Gialos where we rented some beach chairs and swam again in the Aegean sea. This beach was somewhat less beautiful to me as the surroundings were not wild but commercial, but it was sandy with lovely water and it proved an excellent way to spend an afternoon.

After so many days and stops we finally arrived to our last port of call, Athens. By this time we were both missing you all quite a bit, but had some remaining days to explore. Athens is not in my estimation a beautiful city, the architecture is from the 60’s-80’s and bland, and everything seems to be covered in graffiti. However, that said it is a nice city, full of history, warm people, and a great climate and culture. We explored the Acropolis with its many temples, journeyed outside the city to the temple of Poseidon perched above the sea at the southernmost point of Attica, and wandered through sprawling museums rich with centuries of history. I think the Acropolis and the trip to Sounio where the temple of Poseidon rests were my favorite parts.

The one thing that tied it all together for me was being there with your mother. As I grow older she becomes more and more my favorite person, the one I am most at ease around and with. When I see or experience something wonderful I want her to be there too. I want all of you to have that as well someday. As I have been writing lately life is not worth living if you live it alone, and the greatest part of life is love. Do what you love with the ones you love. Showing love to those that don’t deserve it, and better yet being there in love for the ones who desperately need it.

There will always be a piece of me watching the sunset in Sounio, the last rays of orange reflecting across the blue waves to the white marble etched and placed by hand thousands of years ago, part of me is with those stones now. As long as I live I will have a table in Athens watching children play and old couples gather for dinner as I share a bottle of wine, a light Semillon with your mother, reflecting on our journey together. One cannot increase time, but one can use it well, to store up treasures where no one and nothing can take them. Even if someday I forget myself, those things will always be a part of me now, as you will always be a part of me, no matter what may come.

I want to take a small moment to remind that life can be short, and will never be fair, but will always have beauty- even if we cannot see it. This past week a beautiful little girl named Oakley Poth passed away from Leukemia, she was not quite 3 years old. Her family wrote that they know she is in heaven with our Father now, there will be no more pain or tears, and we will all be with her soon. The pain is for those who remain, and who miss her every day. I write this to remind you that the things that seem hard in life are often trivial, we must be grateful for even our worst days that we get to spend with one another. I know Oakleys family would give anything to have her for one more moment, one more cuddle or kiss or laugh. We must live life knowing it will end, as to make the most of it before it does.  

Quinn- you are still my blue-eyed monster. You are so beautiful, and can be so sweet- and then there is the two-year-old part of you that melts down into a red-hot rage and deep deep sorrow when things don’t go your way! You love when we dance as a family, usually to Taylor Swift that Cora puts on. Cora copies your dance moves and you get a big kick out of it. You have most of us at your beckon call, you love babies and push them often in your stroller around the house. You are also a big fan of Daniel Tiger and I think this past weekend you fell a bit in love with Cash Bishop- you kept calling his name and would smile whenever you saw him, you two played together nonstop at his cabin in Payson. “Cashy” is how you called him. You are my sweet muffin, or Quinsters or Quinny as I call you, I love you so much.

Cora, lately you are a somewhat sad reminder of how quickly life can pass by. All of a sudden, my little girl seems like a little woman. We cut your hair short- partially because Bella cut hers short, partially because you took scissors to your hair on your own accord more than once and sort of butchered it.…. lets say you were less than eager to share the truth about what happened. Ill play with your brother and sister and you’ll ask me to do the same things to you, trouble is I cant easily toss you overhead or spin you around in circles without throwing my back out! You were the only one that had us all to yourselves for 3 years though, so you had plenty of playtime. You make me proud every day, you are so smart, and I love how silly you are in your heart, how much joy you have. One thing we have been working on is gratitude, I want to make sure I raise you to know your life is not someone elses fault, and its up to you to decide how to live joyfully no matter what comes, that only you can chose the direction of your life. I really don’t want to fail you in that. One other note is you are playing volleyball like crazy- practice 3 days in a row and then a game day- if it becomes too much we will cancel the school volleyball to give you some rest- but energy never seems to be lacking with you! I love you so much- forever my Cora lovey.

Family Summer Vacation 2018

Well our 2018 family vacation (minus Quinn) is in the books. This year we set out to Legoland and SeaWorld. I am reasonably sure that the very idea came from your asking Cora, after seeing numerous advertisements on TV. Also due to the advertising we stayed in the new Legoland Castle hotel- I think the thing you two were most excited about was the bunkbed in the room.

Our roadtrip there went well all in all, which means you two slept and or quietly watched your iPads most of the time! One thing I remembered from my childhood which I wanted to do for you was to stop at a gas station and let each of you pick something out- we did this in Yuma. I don’t know why it felt special to me as a kid, but it was fun for me to relive it through you- Deacon you got M&M’s and Cora you got some kind of gummies. One other eventful part was as we made the climb from the desert to the mountains before you get to San Diego we went through a storm- it wasn’t raining very hard but we got to drive through a cloud. You both put your hands and heads outside the windows thought it was pretty cold- I couldn’t see too far ahead so I was focused on the road.

Legoland was awesome, and seeing you two have so much fun was even better. Once you are a parent you will realize that one of the best parts is seeing your children filled with joy. From having breakfast in the mornings (pancakes for Cora and waffles for Deacon) to all the rides, you two were in heaven. Cora, you were particularly happy that each day you got to drink soda- another vacation treat. Deacon every single day you found time to nap on me around noon for about 20-30min, but you never once complained about walking around or being too tired- you were a real trooper. Cora you didn’t complain either- except once when you fell down and scrapped your leg and acted like it was the end of the world…. But you recovered after a few rides.

I think our favorite rides overall were the roller coasters, much to my surprise you two braved each and every one of them. I remember riding a similar one in Disneyland when I was young and I got so scared I didn’t ride a roller coaster again until I was a Freshman in high school- I guess you two are going to be a lot braver than me. We started with the dinocoaster, then there was a dragon roller coaster, and finally an oddly named Lego Technic Coaster. Deacon one of your favorite rides was a mummy ride where we all got to shoot lasers at a target, Cora your favorite was the Dragon coaster. One nice part about being there before school was out is there were hardly any lines, thinking back on this trip as I write makes me sad its all over- but also makes me smile thinking of all the fun we had.

We ended up at Seaworld on Saturday, which meant it was a bit more crowded but we still had a great time. There were three shows that we did, a dolphin show, sealion show, and the orca show. The dolphins was kind of an acrobatics display, the sealions were all comedy, and the orcas were just amazing to see. By the time you two are adults the orca show will most likely have ceased, there was a documentary called Blackfish made a few years back that created a lot of controversy about having whales in captivity. There are arguments to be made on both sides, but ultimately when I looked around at the 400 people or more in the stadium I know 99% of us will never see an Orca in the wild, and seeing them in Seaworld helps us appreciate them, and if that ultimately makes us more responsible in preserving the wales environment then I think it is a good thing. In any case all the shows were great. We also did some rides, two of which soaked us to the bone!

Spending time as a family seeing you two growing and learning and having fun is the best part of my life. I am at this point where my youth is more and more behind me, which sometimes gets me down. However, seeing your lives take shape and being able to pour adventure and fun into them, being able to help give you a great childhood gives such purpose to my life. I know things won’t always be as they are when you are 7 and 4, you won’t always want to hang out with me and cuddle and listen to most things I say, and that’s ok, because life is all about seasons. This is one of my favorites, the young innocent, great wide world of possibilities and adventure season. I want to let you live in it for as long as you can and enjoy it as much as you can before the next season arrives.

One aside I will mention, while we were in the Legoland your mother spotted a child wearing a Make A Wish badge. Make A Wish is an organization that was set up to bless children with terminal health issues by granting a wish, like a trip to Disneyland, Legoland, or meeting a celebrity. I thought it was an important reminder during our fun that we cannot take anything for granted, and that we should always be cognizant that there are people in this world who are struggling and hurting. I don’t bring this up to make us feel bad about our fun, but to draw attention to the balance of life and the frailty of it. Life cannot be about only serving yourself, and though some moments will be full of joy others will be full of struggle. For me it was a reminder to live in those moments with you as much as I can and never take them for granted, and now I will always have the memories of our trip together, and I hope you will too.

Cora- you were such a big girl on this trip, so helpful at every turn and so open to expressing how much you were enjoying everything. You left a note for the housekeepers in the Legoland hotel that those had been the best two days of your life. You were also kind to your brother during the trip and at times when he would need it you comforted him, and you played with him really nicely. The souvenir you decided on was a white seal- or Harp seal- you thought about your purchase for a few days, you are so smart and always put your thoughts together so well. I am so proud of you and love you so much.

Quinn- you stayed home for this one since you were not quite two years old. You pretty much shunned us when we got back, as I am sure you were a bit mad. You seemed to have a very good time with Mimi and Papa though. Also when we got back we found you learned the phrases, no no mommy, no no daddy. So that has been fun lately! I mostly call you my fuzzy headed monster, or still Qunisters. You are so sweet and cuddly, and your hair is getting so long and a bit curly at the ends in the back. I sure do love you.

Coffee Pot

Well 2018 is off to a decent start. As I write this the first three months have already passed, they held a fair amount of change. For one my role at work changed, I went from a Sales Director to Business Director, which seems for the time being to be half of what I used to do as a Product Line Manager, but for a business about 3 times the size and twice the complexity, so that balances it out. I do not yet enjoy the role as much as my last, and am finding it strange not to travel after doing so regularly for the past 11 years of work. I love being out and about and having a change of scenery, I am fortunate that my career has provided that in spades. However, I remain optimistic about what I will learn and how this role will prepare me for the next, and how I can make a positive impact.

Change is tough when it’s not to one’s liking. I interact sometimes with people who have rarely changed roles, or habits for that matter for decades. I suppose that a lifestyle of that sort comes with a great deal of comfort and regularity, up to the point when something you didn’t anticipate comes along and then it would really throw you for a loop…. But I digress.

This past year was my most lucrative financially. It is a strange thing to make more money than you had ever envisioned. I remember when I was first starting out and my friend Nathan and I were talking, we said if we could just make $80,000 a year our lives would be perfect. I made multiples of that this year, and yet as you may someday find depending on the path you take, it effected a negligible amount of change to my joy. Now materially speaking there were improvements, new pool, bathroom, vacations paid for, investments made- but my joy, that did not change. Money didn’t make me love you more, or you me. Money didn’t perfect my marriage, or improve my relationships with my friends. I didn’t let money separate me from God, but if I am being honest the pursuit of one diminished from the pursuit of the other.

While preparing our taxes recently my CPA told me most people in our income range donate 2-3% of their income, we had donated 12%. I don’t say that to brag, but to let you know my success did not come solely from blind luck, or hard work. The very company I work at now came about because your Papa sat in the stands at Uncle Taylors swim meets near someone who worked at Honeywell. When I was looking for a new role that someone was willing to pass my resume to the hiring manager, a resume that would have gotten lost in the “unqualified” pile due to me not having Aerospace experience. God opened the doors at the right time. I see it clearly, the blessings he has given us are not to be hoarded, they are to be shared, he blessed me for a reason, and it wasn’t so I could have a new pool. Having or not having money is not what matters, what matters is if you are responsible with what you are given, and if you are serving something greater than yourself. If you are not, joy and peace will be out of your reach no matter the income you achieve. You may be happy, and have nice things, but you cannot buy yourself a better life- not in the way that matters.

I am most likely repeating myself here but lately I don’t feel like I am working for myself. Most of what I do is with a long term in mind, and that long term revolves around the 3 of you and your mother. After my heart issue I increased my life insurance and as each month passed thought “ok, more debt paid down, more saved, the kids will be ok if I die”. My outlook month to month was the longer I lived the more secure your future would be. I am less fatalistic these days but my goals remain the same, provide a better life for you and even for your children, leave a legacy for my family. Now I just said that money doesn’t purchase what really matters, but for me I look to it to purchase freedom. If I can do enough maybe your freedom, to travel and enrich your lives, to buy a vacation home where you can bring your families someday to visit mom and I.

The things that make me “happy” have changed so much as I got older. When I was younger it was more focused around those things- my jeep, video games, large purchases- guns, fancy clothes, outdoor equipment. Now I am happiest when I watch all of you enjoying life, when we have play time together, when I see you take joy in moments and learn. I also find happiness in my solitude at times, one of my greatest enjoyments is a glass of bourbon and a decent cigar, on a cold night by a fire, listening to some good music. I have always been a lonesome soul. At times I transport myself back to times and places when I was at peace, sitting next to haggler creek near Payson, looking across golden grass blowing in the wind at sunset while quail hunting, most of the memories I am in the wild, alone, I don’t know why- but that is where I go.

This past week my friend Cameron and I went four wheeling to a place called Coffee Pot, it is east of Rye, south of Payson. The rancher I spoke to told me the trail was rough but we would be ok in a jeep, turned out we needed a very modified Jeep, which luckily Cameron had. The road back was only 8 miles but it took all of 2 hours to drive it, large drops and ledges, loose rocks and overgrown brush made it pretty difficult. I took some pictures once we got to the campsite- they don’t do the place justice but I will include them. You cross through two canyons and move from desert landscape at about 4 thousand feet to Alligator Juniper trees and grassland at 6,200 feet. At Coffee Pot there is a bunkhouse where the cowboys still sleep when working cattle in the backcountry and most likely finding strays. There was a wood burning stove and simple setup, it must be lonely but it was beautiful. We camped in a mountain meadow, undisturbed by anything but the breeze and stars. It was fantastic to have an adventure and spend some time with a good friend in the place I long to be- the wild. We have a lot coming up this summer so I am sure I will be writing more.

Music lately- Josh Garrels- Further Along, Avett Brothers- The Perfect Space, Murder in the City (and a lot of their other songs), Jake Owen-Anywhere With You, Lord Huron- Hurricane and Ends of the Earth.

A Good Man

Very recently a good man passed away after a battle with Leukemia. His name was Pieter Boersma, he was born in South Africa, your mother and I came to know him and his family in 2009 when we journeyed to Mozambique. Pieter and his wife Rika had a calling from God to serve those in need, and serve them they did. They founded an orphanage and took in children that had been abandoned or orphaned, many due to the ravages of AIDS on the country.

I remember learning of their mission with your mother in church when another missionary came to speak of various efforts across the globe. In 2009 the world economy went through a deep economic recession and at the time the company I worked for, Eaton, decided in addition to laying off 10% of their employees that those remaining would take “MULA’s”. The acronym sounds better than the definition, Mandatory Unpaid Leave of Absence, so one week unpaid each quarter. Honestly at the time I didn’t mind as I just felt grateful to still have good meaningful work with a good company that was doing the best they could given the uncertainty in the world at the time.

Your Mother and I quickly decided this would be perhaps our only opportunity for this much time off for the foreseeable future, and began making plans for a 3 week journey. There is nothing quite like setting out for a 20 hour journey to the opposite end of the world. I have always had a thirst for adventure, but that didn’t stop the sinking feeling in my gut as we set out, but as with any adventure having a steadfast travel companion allays many a fear. We flew first to New York City where we spent the night before boarding a 15 hour flight directly from NYC to Johannesburg South Africa, from there we took another 1 hour flight to Maputo Mozambique. 

We arrived in a world our imaginations had struggled to form, and that we could not fully prepare for. Overall we were simply elated to have arrived, and we quickly located Pieter and Rika in the airport and went for lunch. One of the first things I noticed is that your mother turned a lot of heads, there were not a tremendous amount of blonde women walking around in town. My mind initially went to how I would defend her absent of any decent weapons…. As an American I was used to at least having the option of being armed! One thing I will say- for some reason when I think of foreign places my mind gravitates towards thinking everyone is out to get me. My personal experience to all corners of the world including Saudi Arabia has dispelled that. I think the media and some good cherry-picking of unfortunate events has done a lot to instill fear into people. Now a healthy dose of caution and common sense when dealing with unfamiliar surroundings is still a sound practice no matter where you go.

I think the most overwhelming thing to me was it all seemed a bit chaotic- the airport where we had to file papers for lost luggage (got it on the next plane- no thanks to anyone in the airport though) the traffic (your father once literally laid across the laps of 3 strangers who were totally used to it, though not used to it being a “white” their term) one of the things that stood out the most is the population was 98% young people. I believe in the two weeks we spent there we may have seen a total of 5 people over 60. The experience at the hospitals and caring for many of the children that were born with HIV and had lost their parents to AIDS demonstrated that long life was a rarity, not the norm.

The Boersma’s orphanage was a fantastic home for our two weeks. At the time they had around 12 children, aged infant to 6 years old. If you ever begin to feel entitled to anything, a good exercise would be to visit an orphanage, here in the US but especially in a 3^rd world country. Stepping one foot inside, and for the briefest of moments entering into their lives one cannot help but feel overwhelmingly blessed. To have parents to raise and care for you, food in your stomach, a roof and quality medical care, to be loved and held, to be clean and have access to an education. There are innumerable things we begin slowly to take for granted in life. I will as you all grow caution and watch for the attitude of “this world owes me something”. In fact it does not, and those that feel that they are victims of the world are destined to live lives of envy, bitterness and sorrow. I saw joy in those children that escapes even the most fortunate of the rich world. These orphans did not expect anything, and so whatever they did receive was a blessing they cherished, we should live life the same.

One thing that stayed with me the most is how much they wanted and needed my attention. There was never enough energy to satisfy them, and often they wanted one on one time. To ride on my shoulders, be pushed around in one of the hobbled together toys they had, to play soccer, or sit and read in my terrible Portuguese. They simply wanted what had been denied to them, to be the focus of someone’s love and affection, to be someone’s joy, often just to be held, we are not meant to live solitary lives. When I think of the love all 3 of you have growing up it makes me so happy, but at the same time it pains my heart to know children every bit as worthy of love go neglected every hour of every day.

Enter people like Pieter and Rika. They lead a comfortable life in Mozambique, which is to say they lead an uncomfortable life compared to almost anywhere else in the world. Sometimes there is running water, sometimes not, fuel and electricity are sporadic at best, Malaria is common and Pieter had it at least twice, and if you do get sick the nearest quality healthcare would be across the border- hours away in South Africa. They also did not allow these challenges and their fears hold them back from starting a family of their own, they have 3 boys that face the very things they do. Yet with these challenges and so many more they willingly entered into this pain in the world that needed addressing, they did not shy away from the calling they felt God placed in their heart, and keep in mind, Pieter still got cancer, still suffered after caring for the suffering. The point of the work we do as Christians is not so we will be repaid in this life with comfort and peace, it is so we can answer Gods call and save people in this so very brief life before we face the eternal life that is to come.

People often turn away from God when misfortune strikes them, as though they believed God has turned his back on them. Scour the bible, those who walk closest with God are often the very same people who suffer most in this world, and for good reason, if a holy life was simple Jesus would not have had to come and die for our sins, the road to destruction is wide, the path of righteousness is narrow and testing. God didn’t promise this life to be easy for one reason- it barely matters. What is 10,40, even 100 years of suffering in comparison to eternity, what does it matter to build treasures here when we cannot retain them, Pieter was focused on the prize, his eternal life, and leading others to an eternal life and relationship with Jesus that would bear the ultimate gift for them and their descendants, the gift of Gods salvation. As people we often judge the quality of life in years, comfort, or possessions that point to a rich life of elegance. God does not judge it so, and deep in our hearts what we long for is not the treasures of the world, it is for a peace that passes understanding.

Pieter is now surrounded by love and joy, he knows neither fear, nor hunger, no sadness or pain, his race is run and he has won. Every day around this world good women and men pass quietly away, the world did not know them, and it did not love them, but God and those they cared for did. I am so proud to have known such a man and his family, and I want you to know him as well which is why I am writing you. He lived, he mattered, and I will see him again. Legacy does not need to be widely known and publicized to be impactful, if you leave one person behind who knows the purpose of this life because of yours, then you have done well.  

One thing I am going to start mentioning is songs I am listening to and loving- so this writings are…. Need to Breathe- Cages, Judah and the Lion- Suit and Jacket, Radical Face- Always Gold, and Cereus Bright- Stella

Cora- you went from training wheels to riding your bike in about 24 hours. I tried to help you but you really just wanted to do it on your own. After kind of paddling around on your bike you just started riding, you and I went around the block about 10 times the first day- you have been loving it ever since. You ride around quite a bit with Adam, our next door neighbor. The other recent development is you playing volleyball. It’s so fun to watch you play and enjoy yourself, you are so much more confident then you used to be, though I guess there has always been a streak of “I want to do it myself” you were typically shy around others, not so much anymore. You are quite independent which I love, you are so helpful around the house and are growing into such a well-rounded person it is amazing to watch. I am also happy that you are still my sweet little girl, and when you are not biting and punching and wrestling with me you always want to cuddle. I love you so much.

Quinn, or Quinsters as I call you most of the time, Deacon calls you Quins-minsters. I also commonly refer to you as a little monster, a hot mess express, and the family calls you our peacock due to the often heard loud pitched call coming from you! At just over a year old you are fully your own woman, hell bent on what you set your mind to and full of emotional distraught and anger when things don’t go your way. Thankfully you are as cute as can be and provide “loves” often to us all, you typically will walk up and turn your head sideways and lay it on the person you are being affectionate to, then you will smack them a few times in the face while smiling and do it all over again. Your hair looks pretty red to me, and your eyes a beautiful shade of blue. You are our most fearless climber, its never a surprise though is often a shock to find you perched high atop something you should not be, completely and blissfully unaware of the mortal danger. As with your Sister and Brother before you, you and I are getting to be better and better friends as you grow older, you love following around and being part of the fun. Often while I wrestle with your siblings you will walk up and plant yourself on my chest to be included. Our lives are all fuller now that you are here, even the neighborhood kids treasure pulling you around in what has become your little green wagon- JoJo or Sophie especially. I love you with all my heart. 

Family Vacation 2017

Well we successfully completed our first trip out of the country as a family, destination Cancun Mexico! Our family, and the Bishop family headed south with one of your mothers cousins- Caitlyn- who was our much appreciated babysitter during the trip.

The place we stayed was about 20 min south of Cancun, Hacienda Del Secreto. It was beautiful, big white sandy beaches, water that was a light shade of blue green, and was the perfect temperature to swim in. The house was three stories, whitewashed against the sun and salty air, with our own pool and hot tub. Deacon you and Jaxson bunked together in a big boy bed, which we lined with pillows in case either of you rolled out. Cora you slept with Caitlyn, and she eventually set up a pillow between the two of you so she could rest without being kicked all night as you flailed around in your sleep! Quinn you were with Mom and me on the 3^rd floor in your crib.

Cora you played in the ocean non-stop, at least until the sun and saltwater got the best of you. It was a dramatic change from the last time we went in 2014, you hated the waves, and were not too keen on the saltiness either. Deacon you only came around on the final two days of the trip, before that you spent most of your time on the beach playing with Jaxson and building things out of the sand. Quinn, we found plenty of sand that you had eaten in your daily changing time…. But you were a trooper through and through.

Mom and I went ziplining one day, I was tempted to take you with us Cora but am glad I did not, the first line scared me, so I don’t think you would have enjoyed it. Outside of that we mostly stayed at the beach with all of you, swimming, reading, relaxing and just taking it easy. One highlight was that we got to see four sea turtles come on shore and lay their eggs. It was about our third night and we had just finished talking with Sean and Jen, mom decided we should take a stroll down the beach and sure enough- out in the surf we spotted a large dark object moving up on the shore. Mom sprinted back to get Sean and Jen and we all watched as this turtle, which must have been 250-350lbs drug itself up on the shore.

It was amazing to see something in real life that we had only ever before seen on television. This vast ocean and somehow these turtles navigate their way back to where they were hatched. Cora I came and got you out of bed and carried you down to the beach. We watched one of the turtles for about 10 minutes and then you told me “ok daddy I think I’ll go back to bed now”, hard to get as excited when you are 6 and sleep deprived!

One thought I had was that I was doing something with my kids that my parents had never done with me, nor mom’s with her. I didn’t get a passport until I was 23 years old, and now all my children have one. I went out of the country once when I was a teenager to Mexico on a cruise, but I imagine by that time you three will have visited a few countries with us. I was trying to compare what your childhood would be like compared to mine, and how it would shape you.  Cora you were getting used to the finer things in life, you loved eating at the restaurant each night because it was so “fancy”, you will understand someday but for parents there is nothing more enjoyable then knowing your kids are really loving something that you are doing for or with them.

It is so fun for me as a father to help pick out family vacations and what we will do. I don’t quite feel old yet but the experience sure makes me feel that way. Picking out a location, making a budget, building an itinerary and doing all the travel planning, hoping that the whole thing will go smoothly and that everyone will enjoy it. Really my favorite part is watching each of you experience things in your own way, watch different realizations happen and figure out what things resonate with you. Cora you loved the quality time and adventuring in the ocean, playing lots of games with mom and I- and of course the dinners. Deacon you had a great time with Jaxson and on the airplane each direction, but are not quite old enough to really enjoy the difference from the daily routine just yet.

I am looking forward to our next family vacation, wherever it takes us, and for many more to come after that. Some will be relaxing, some adventuresome, some near and some far away. My goal is to see you enjoy life, and for us all to build memories that never leave us.  

Family Cabin

This past weekend we traveled to our family cabin in Prescott. My father and grandfather purchased it when I was young, it was torn down and rebuilt about 15 years ago though, but still resembles the original. When I reflect on my childhood memories of the place I remember a long drive that seemed to always take place at night, eventually we would arrive to the woods, and begin a bumpy ride along which the headlights would illuminate a dark and foreign forest surrounding us. It always felt so mysterious, so adventuresome, not that we had driven a mere 2 hours, but that we were in a new and far away land.

The cabin was old and every step you took was a creaking reminder of its age. There was a small downstairs where the kitchen and a storage room were placed with a deck on the main level, the floor boards of the deck were very narrow and numerous- to the point you almost thought you could fall through. There was a narrow staircase in the middle of the cabin that led to a second floor where there were 3 bedrooms a bathroom, and a family room with a large fireplace. Downstairs was one of my favorite parts of the cabin, a wood burning stove cast of iron that resembled a locomotive engine. My brother and I would continually feed the fire which dispensed its heat through a chimney that ran the course of the cabin. We loved that fireplace, and our grandfather loved helping us maintain the fire.

I remember running to jump into bed with grandpa and grandma in the mornings, I remember falling asleep at night, wondering with my brother if a bigfoot was going to snatch us out of our beds, I remember the woods seemed vast and endless, I remember I always felt a bit sad when we left, as if the cabin was lonely without us, and I wondered how it passed the time until we returned to it.

When I go back now it makes me feel so old! Watching the three of you experience it brings so much joy to my heart, and a bit of longing to be honest- to be young again. Quinn you are still mostly just along for the ride at this point, Cora you are our mountain goat, climbing everywhere and being a brave explorer. This past trip you spend a lot of time decorating a rock with mud “making it beautiful” and also some time making algae cotton candy… scooping algae out of the stream with a stick, which Deacon you also joined in on. Deacon you are not currently a lover of long hikes like your sister, or a sure footed, but you do very well for being just 3 and you take on any challenge with good determination.

I love spending time with my family, away from all the normal distractions. I am overseas again this week in London, and Aberdeen, both in the UK, and will travel to Lisbon Portugal soon. I am so glad I have the memories of the past weekend to reflect back on while missing you all. Going to Lynx lake and finding a stowaway lizard which Cora you and I held, Deacon you used the oar as a cannon to fight of pirates, panning gold in the stream and finding treasures, even just watching a movie together and cuddling on the couch. The thing I hold most dearly in my life is my family, I love each of you so much, and you are all perfect to me in unique ways that make our family whole. Cant wait to get home and see you all, and plan some more adventures!