Well, your first real Christmas has come and gone. I say your first real Christmas because last time you were not able to move very much, let alone understand a single thing that was going on. I think one of your favorite parts about Christmas this year were the snowmen, which you called Mahh-Tahs. There was lots of love, lots of presents, and certainly a lot of family watching and adoring your every move.
Some exciting news we found out is that next Christmas you will not be an only child. We don’t yet know if you will have a little brother or sister yet, but come September you will have to share your affections with another, but I promise there will still be plenty to go around. As you get older it will be a lot of fun for you to have a sibling on Christmas, someone else to get excited with, wake up early with, and share presents with. I don’t have many great memories of Christmas that don’t involve my brother.
When I think of Christmas there are so many things that stand out vividly in my mind, I hope they still will years from now. I remember my grandfathers Cadillac, and about 8 of us piling in to drive to the candle light service at North Phoenix Baptist Church. I loved that car ride. I remember sitting in the balcony with my family, my brother and I both carving away on our candles. I remember how the whole place lit up and the church softly sang quiet night, it was so peaceful and comforting. I loved waking up early with my brother, being so excited the night before we could hardly stand it. I loved standing outside in the cold, looking at the lights on the house, looking at the stars and trying to savor every moment.
There is no balcony anymore at North Phoenix, and so also a great many things have changed. I felt that even more this year, the changes, the longing for what was, slowly transforming into the joy of what is. Now there is you, and your mother, new traditions and memories to delight in. I will always remember how cute you looked bundled up in your Christmas clothes, how excited you got to tear the paper and play with your new toys- even if it only took 45 seconds before you moved onto the next. I will always remember looking at you and being grateful that I would be there as my parents were with me, to live vicariously through your sweet youth, and be reminded of why we celebrate Christmas. I suppose that sentence could be misleading. We don’t celebrate so that parents can relive their youth through their children, we celebrate the joy that comes from salvation, and that salvation came from a child born of a virgin who lived the only selfless life this world has ever known.
When you look back someday you will most likely remember some of the presents you received throughout the years, but what will stand out the most will be the memories that have nothing to do with gifts. Memories of family and traditions, of silly moments, and magical ones, silent nights, and the smell of the Christmas tree. We will always have a real tree, mom will make cinnamon rolls, she will also yell at me for whistling Christmas songs too much, I will put up some great exterior lighting, and we will watch the Christmas story, possibly Elf, and probably Christmas Vacation. We will take time to observe why we are really celebrating, and we will come together as a family. I love that you are part of this now, part of me.
I love you sweetheart.
