I have been
meaning to write you for so many weeks. It’s been months since I have written
and so much has changed. We are going to move back to Phoenix this September. I
guess that is the biggest change of all.
I am sure you will learn this
about your father, but I will just go ahead and say it. I am nostalgic. I was
about Phoenix when we left, and I will be about Atlanta when we leave. No
matter what the event in life I have always dwelled on the moments before they
ended and taken the time to consider how they changed my life.
We moved to GA in large part so
that your father could discover something about himself. I needed to know how
much I was willing to do to develop my career in the corporate world. Within a
large company the quickest way to ascend to better and better jobs is to be
geographically flexible, and willing to move every 2-3 years as roles open up
that help you develop your professional skills. I was able to be promoted far
enough in Phoenix to see the possibility that someday I could have a very
important job that rewarded me personally and provided very well for our
family. I had the opportunity and I decided to take the leap, and your mother
was brave enough to leap with me.
We have really enjoyed GA, the
people, the climate, our life and my job. However, it is not home, and it would
never be. I discovered after some time that there was no way I could uproot us
every few years, most likely to locations that were nowhere near as pleasant as
GA is. I couldn’t leave new friends that often, nor did I want to commute with
you and your brother cross country 3 times a year for weeks at a time. For everything
in life there is a cost, in business they call it the cost/ benefit analysis.
GA benefited me in many ways professionally, but it costs us personally. I may
never be a president or executive in a large company, that is going to be the
consequence of my decision. I will still provide for us, and work hard, but my
opportunities will be limited to what is available in Phoenix.
The benefit is going to be that
you will grow up with friends you spend your life with, that you will know your
grandparents better, and hopefully that you know there is nothing more
important than the people you share your life with.
This has been the most stressful
time in my life, or at least it comes close. But nothing relaxes me more than
being with my family. Your brother is crawling everywhere, you are obsessed
with dangling from my neck and having me catch you when you finally let go. You
tell me all the time that we are best buddies, and that we will be forever. I
know that is true, but I cringe to think of the times you wont want me around,
or think that I am not being a good father.
I love you so much, you bring
more joy to my life than I thought possible. Typically when I roll over due to
being poked in the back at 7am on a Saturday you are standing beside the bed, staring
at me, waiting to start the day. I wonder what I will think about the decision
we are now making 10 years from now, how our lives, how you will be different.
I feel regret that you will have to leave some of your friends here behind,
that you will most likely lose any memory of them as time continues.
When I think of Georgia I will
think of tall pines and green grass everywhere. I will think of the red clay in
the dirt, of warm fires on cold nights and being a family in an unfamiliar
place. I will think about how we came as a family of 3 and left as a family of
4. I visited 6 countries I had never been to before, and worked in an office
for the second time in my life, I made friends I will miss, but memories I will
keep.
I am glad we came, and I will be
happy to be home. I never imagined we would be here for so short a time. I
don’t know what our families future holds, but I know we will be together
through whatever comes.
I love you
and love you and love you.
