Outside Looking In

Well, Christmas has passed, it was wonderful as ever. One of my favorite things about Christmas is decorating the house, for me that means exterior lighting. Every year I am a mix of satisfied and dissatisfied at my efforts, and most years involve trips to Home Depot for 50% off lights after the holiday has passed, this year was no exception. I have big aspirations for next year!

Inevitably, I wander out during the darkness of night, to admire the illumination cast upon our house. I remember doing it at every house we have ever had except for the one in Georgia, because we were in Phoenix for Christmas that year. I stand there and take in the view for a while silently, alone, reflecting not on the work it took to do, but on how lovely it looks, and how warm it is inside the home I gaze upon, how grateful I am for its walls and what they contain. You pass so many homes that look lovely and inviting from the outside, and you wonder who lives there, if their lives are a reflection of the house they live in. Often homes, like humans, project one thing but hide another. Our walls, be them brick or proverbial hide the secrets of what lies behind.

I will tell you behind our walls there was warmth and love. There was at times anger and sorrow and things all families and people deal with, but I love our home not because of how it looks, but how it feels to be inside of it, with all my family, living a life that is so good I couldn’t have imagined it when I was younger. We are blessed by the Lord to have such a home and your mother and I are blessed to have you. Now, we might have had the Lords blessing, but never forget how hard your mother and I worked for it as well. We worked on our love, and we worked to provide, and it has been worth every effort.

I made terrible mistakes for two of you this year and got you bikes and Razor dirtbike/ vespas for your birthday- which left me completely out of Christmas ideas. I have to be careful not to spoil you as it is my natural inclination. I really want to get you everything you want, but that doesn’t make for the best outcome in adults most of the time… Quinn you ended up with all things Frozen related, dresses, dolls, and candy. Deacon we got you a Red Ryder BB gun, and some Bakugan figurines you like. Cora you got a makeup kit, and some other art and science projects. You three were excited as ever, and Christmas is always so much fun, time with the Grandparents, and time with one another. I really enjoy the pause at the end of the year to catch my breath before the intensity of January with work.

For New Year’s we once again went up to the Bishops cabin in Forest Lakes outside Payson. This year the Coberly family went with us, Cora you enjoyed having Hanna and Wes to play with as they are closer to your age. Deacon, you, Quinn and Cash spent most of your time together, and a lot of it was eating icicles you continually had me fetching from the roof. We also got to do some more serious sledding this year, and had two feet of snow to do it in. Cora you were super brave and took on some hills I was impressed by. Deacon and Quinn, you guys had a much better time as mom got you set up with the right gear to keep you dry and warm. It is a huge blessing to be able to spend time with great friends in beautiful places. Mom made a standing rib roast one night, and we all lit of fireworks in the snow on new year’s eve, the dads smoked some cigars I brought and it was just a great 3 days. Friends are such a blessing in life, and enrich it so much. I hope each of you are as blessed as we have been in our friends.

Cora, I think one of your friends got or had a rabbit, in any case you said you wanted one, more like needed one. My challenge to you was “ok, but you pay for it”, and you did a great job of saving your money and brought home Marshmallow in early December. She is a very sweet and fuzzy soft rabbit. She is also a little beggar and would most likely be 60lbs if we let her! Hungriest bunny I have ever seen. You have been very responsible with her so far, though you did protest quite a bit when it came to cage cleaning that prior to getting her you assured me would be no issue. I drove darn near to Tucson to get an outdoor cage at a good price for her, and we found a great indoor cage, and the rabbit is getting lots of love from everyone, though you take great issue with Quinn repeatedly calling her a “little stinker”. Cora you are fiercely independent. You tend to go your own way regardless of what others are doing, and you are not constantly seeking validation. You have a good sense of confidence- which at your age can be troublesome- but overall, I am impressed with how well you carry yourself. You also have shown zero interest in boys for now, which I am in no way upset about. You love your guitar lessons, and playing volleyball and tennis. You have a great group of friends at church and school and I really feel you are growing into a lovely young lady. Lastly, you continue to do so well in school you require very little assistance, except occasionally in math, which was also always a struggle for me. Love you tons. 

Quinn, I feel at the tender age of three you are already a master manipulator. You have a way of looking at people with your big blue eyes and getting them to do your bidding. You have so many ways of holding your head and showing approval/ disapproval its really funny. When you get your way you tend to give me giant hugs and proclaim “you’re the best daddy, you’re a good daddy, or thank you daddy boy”, when you don’t get your way you mostly scream and run to your room to pout until you figure out we don’t care and then you come out like nothing happened. You adore Deacon and love to play with him, you have a love hate relationship with Lulu across the street- you two play so well and then fight so hard its pretty funny to watch two third born’s battle it out. Your favorite things right now are, Frozen, Sophia the First, and Unicorns. You eat voraciously at every meal, which is a godsend seeing as how I still battle with Deacon nightly to eat his food. You are our sweet and very spunky girl, very sharp and observant, and so funny with the things you come up with. You are our Quinnsters, and we love you deeply. Last note- you got a bad fever this week, and someday you will know how sad and scary it is to watch your kids suffer through illness. I got up at 3:30 to give you some meds when Cora said you were getting really fussy. I just sat with you by your bedside, you grabbed my arm and held it to your face and said in a quiet voice “thank you daddy”. I sat there for the next 40 min watching you breathe and taking your temperature as you slept, praying for you and wishing there was more I could do. Mom had checked on you and assured me you were fine- so nice having a nurse in the house who has seen it all with kids. I just included this note because its one of the small things you don’t remember when you get old, but I sure do love you, and sure do hate it when you suffer. 

Lake Tahoe

I seem to perpetually be behind on writing about our adventures, this one is about our second road trip of the year- to Lake Tahoe! Also a note, most of my writing has the same main entry in each blog, but girls you will find specific messages in your blog and Deacon you will find them in yours at the end of each of my entries- just so you don’t miss them.

We have friends, the Barrett’s who travel to Tahoe every summer. Their pictures always looked so great that this year we indevoured to join them, and boy am I glad we did. We went in late July, it was a 12 hour drive door to door but we made it in one straight shot. You guys did great in the car, maybe you got used to it from driving to Idaho. We rented a nice little house in South Lake Tahoe, we were all very happy it came with a hot tub- my muscles were especially happy after that drive. The night we arrived we actually joined the Barretts on Baldwin beach for dinner. Watching the sunset while you played in the sand enjoying the 70 degree weather was a nice change from 115 humid degrees back in Phoenix.

The week was just a wonderful mix of adventures. We rode our bikes to the beach, stopped by and got ice cream from Camp Richardson almost every day, had lazy mornings and late nights. One of our favorite days we went to Heavenly Ski Resort. During the summer they have ropes courses, a mountain roller coaster, and tons of other activities set up. Cora, you and Mom did a ropes course that there is no way on earth I would have done as an 8-year-old! It frightened adults, you were afraid, but you did it anyway and overcame that fear, which made me so proud of you. Deacon you loved the mountain roller coaster- as did Quinn- you guys don’t scare easily either. All of you got to pan for jewels which was fun to watch, that night some trading took place, somehow Cora ended up with a lot more than when she started…. We had such a great day as a family running around the mountain.

Lake Tahoe is stunningly blue and clear, so of course we had to rent a boat and check it out. We shared the boat with the Barrett family, and did a lot of tubing. Deacon your ideal speed was about 3 ½ miles per hour, you rode with Will. Quinn, you rode with mom and decided 2 miles per hour was your cutoff, guess you didn’t trust my driving. Cora, you and Anna Jean wanted full speed ahead and got it! I didn’t manage to shake you two off, but I got close a few times. We checked out quite a bit of the lake and found an awesome cove on the north-east shore to do some swimming in the clear but chilly water. On the way back we got caught in a bit of high seas adventure when the wind stirred up some pretty good swells. There wasn’t one of us left dry by the time we made it back, we were all so cold I think we forgot what summer even felt like for that hour! It was kind of fun riding the waves though, just another adventure.

Bike rides were really great, the weather was so nice it felt good to get outside as much as possible. Deacon I want to say you did awesome riding a lot further than I thought you could manage. You are already outgrowing the bike we got you two years ago. Quinn, you were in the trailer hauled by yours truly, often with our beach chairs and your trusty horses you never wanted to leave behind. It was always satisfying passing long line of cars waiting to park as we zoomed by to the beach. We also did a hike down to Emerald Bay, it was about a mile down, which meant it would also be a mile up. You guys did great on the down part…. The up part took a bit more encouragement. Quinn, I carried you a good deal of it up, but had to ask you more than once to hold off on incessant questions as your out of shape father huffed and puffed up the trail. Deacon and Cora it was a mental game for you two, but once you reached the top I could tell you both felt a great sense of accomplishment that you had made the climb. Its really cool seeing your successes, even in the small things. The woods in that area were so beautiful, such a lovely mix of redwood, pines, even a sequoia or two.

You guys loved time in the hot tub when we got home from bike rides or nightly adventures. Its so much fun seeing the three of you interact and play. Quinn, you certainly never back down from anyone, Deacon you love your sisters, and Cora you are very playful and at night would be sweet and read Deacon and Quinn books. I don’t want one of those mean families you see so much in the media, damn Hollywood jades me into thinking all families are perpetually fighting and hostile towards one another. I feel like all the writers hated their parents, or hate their kids with most of the stuff that comes out these days. I am so blessed by the family we have, and I will really work on keeping us all close through whatever may come.

Cora- I have so much joy in watching you grow. You are so appreciative of the things we get to do and see. You always comment on the beauty of places, and how much fun our adventures are. I took you out on a paddle board and it was just great having some time to talk about all the fun we had been having and what parts stood out to you. You seem to be my fearless adventurer, and my very silly girl. You are starting up school again, you are so smart it seems to be easy for you right now. You are also doing guitar lessons and volleyball. Sometimes I catch you playing the guitar when you don’t know I am watching, it makes me so proud to see you finding beauty in music, expressing yourself, and discovering new things in this wide world. I love how outgoing you are in life, making new friends, but always going your own way. You are not a follower that is for sure, you make me proud all the time, and I love you so much.

Quinn, oh where to begin. Lately when we anger you in the slightest you say to us “I don’t love you anymore, I love Mommy- or Daddy”- depending on which one of us you are angry at.  You don’t look us in the eye when you say it, you kind of turn your head to the side and down and do your best to express your disappointment with us. You scream loudly whenever wronged by your brother and sister, you laugh the hardest at what Deacon does, and desire to play with him as much as he will give you the time for. I toss you up in the air, and practice swimming, and play horsey, and after it all you always say “again daddy”. This world appears to be yours, we simply live in it. Your bright blue eyes, mane of hair, and strong spirit are so beautiful. We all love our Quinnsters, or Quinny.

The Flying B

you rode along for, a 1,000-mile drive to Challis Idaho. Cora and Deacon you did great, Quinn…. you did good. Sometimes you felt the need to remind us of your unhappiness during our car ride odyssey by screaming/ crying for about 20min or so before falling asleep. We stayed in Cedar City UT on the way up and back. You all got a kick out of the hotel as usual, and eating out at “fancy” restaurants- aka Chilies! We did have ice cream at a cool place where they freeze it in front of you with nitrogen.

We accompanied the Bishop family for this trip. Mr. Sean as I call him has been going ever since he was little to a ranch called the Flying B. The “B” is located in the Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness along the middle fork of the Salmon River. To get there we took a Cessna 210 which was piloted rather excellently by a man named Mark- mostly good people share that name.  I was a little nervous about the flight as if something goes wrong in mountain flying you don’t have a ton of options to get it fixed…. Or to land somewhere flat. In any case we made a smooth landing on the grass field by the river as intended.

The first thing we went to do was catch some fish. Deacon and Cora, you had not yet ever caught one, despite at least two attempts at Lynx Lake in Prescott. Well it only took about 10 min before each of you got to reel one in! I was relieved as I had promised you we would all catch at least one. The best way to catch them was fly fishing so Mr. Sean let you each reel in a few more that he hooked. I actually caught my first fish through fly fishing there as well, it was pretty fun. You guys all crashed hard that night after running around and playing all day. We had a beautiful cabin overlooking the river and hills surrounding it.

Horseback riding was next on the agenda. Cora, you had been eyeballing a white horse with some light black markings named Paul, and sure enough you got to ride him. Deacon you were on Fuzzy, with a lead rope connected to Mom who was on Ziggy. Quinn, you sat in my lap and we rode Clancy. We crossed the river over a narrow bridge, at which point Mr. Seans horse, Digger started acting up and wanting to go back home. He was not a very good horse but thankfully Mr. Sean knew how to handle him. I ended up leading the pack as Clancy was a pretty good paced lead horse. We rode along some beautiful country following the river. In one spot I was not particularly fond of we were basically on the side of a steep drop off down to the river below- didn’t enjoy that too much at all! Thankfully we had a snack and returned home safely and I was fairly relieved after getting off! I don’t know if I care too much for horses at this current time in life.

We spent our remaining days fishing, playing at the beach, playing with other kids that were guests and just generally enjoying being outdoors and disconnected from the world. The ranch had no phone or internet service. I read my book on the French and Indian War, talked with friends and travelers as they came through and just enjoyed the downtime. There were two backpackers that came in from Hamilton MT, a place I have thought about moving before… perhaps it was a sign! It was strange not seeing any news or generally caring about what else was going on. Being disconnected really helped you just be present in the moments and enjoy a different pace of life. One of those things I often think about when I consider moves to a smaller town or less demanding career.

Being out in the wild has always been a place of joy and peace for me. Now in this circumstance we had most of the comforts of home, but regardless its just being outside the hustle of the city and its demands on your attention and mind. I often wish I could just work a small plot of land and do a side job to make enough money to live comfortably. The longer I live the less I want riches, unless the end of them is to bring me the freedom for my time I desire. It was great seeing the three of you enjoy it so much as well and be brave and adventuresome. I loved the family time and can’t wait until we go to lake Tahoe in a few weeks.

Cora- you cried the night before we left and the morning we left. It was so sweet, and reminded me of how I often feel when things that bring joy are coming to a conclusion. You were going to miss Paul, and all the other horses, miss fishing and playing by the river, and just being outdoors. You were such a big girl this week, riding your own horse, feeding all the horses, helping in the kitchen, holding a fish without flinching. You made me very proud, like you always do. You also helped me in my Frisbee throwing skills which I seem to have forgotten from childhood! The day before and morning we left you took around your camera we got you for Christmas and took a bunch of pictures. What interested me is how much you cared about the lighting, the angles, and setting. You have a good eye and were very keen to capture the things you thought were beautiful and worth remembering.

Quinn- my sweet and sometimes full of attitude little girl. One thing ill say before it slips my mind, one day at the ranch you were upset with Cash and Deacon as they were evidently not paying enough attention to you- so you walked away a little bit and laid down in the dirt to show your disapproval. It was pretty funny, we left you there until you realized no one cared about the fit you were pitching. You have all this hair that just bobs around with you as you fearlessly take on the world. You loved the horses, I think they were just big dogs to you. You complained to mom when they wouldn’t come to you a few times- but they often did and when you had food that helped even more. Cash and you had a few quarrels but overall you were often side by side playing. The first morning we were there you woke me up in the morning bright eyed and ready to go. You give us all sweet hugs and kisses when it suits you, and you act like the boss most of the time. My fearless little firecracker.

New Job, New Places

Well my new role at Honeywell is off to a busy start, I cannot remember being as stressed by a role in my career. There is a lot to be learned and a large amount of responsibility that comes with this role, I am looking forward to a few months from now when I have my bearings, and when someone takes my last position so I don’t have to do both roles at once. Last year I hardly traveled, and so this year it came as a welcome surprise to be able to do several trips internationally, downside being that they were back to back!

My first trip took me to Milan, Italy to negotiate a deal with a company called Leonardo that manufactures helicopters. The negotiations went well, I found that Italians primarily try to wear you down through excessive talking, repeating points time and time again until you wish to argue no longer… I stuck to my plan though and walked away with the deal I wanted, in negotiations the most organized often wins. Since airfare was inexpensive I decided to have mom join me at the end of my work trip, she flew out all by herself all the way to Milan, her first time traveling alone internationally.

Mom and I rented a car in Milan, a bright red Fiat 500- most cars in Europe are stick shift, thankfully I learned to drive one in high school, my first pickup truck was a stick. We started our adventure with a drive to Lake Como. Lake Como is primarily a summer destination, as people flock to the lake to stay cool and have fun doing watersports. Therefore, arriving in the winter we found it mostly empty, we were the first to stay at our hotel in 2019 (Hotel Olivedo) they had just opened. We had a great couple of days exploring the lake and the sleepy towns that dot its shores, we took the ferry to a few different ones and rode a funicular up to the alpine town of Brunate that overlooked most of the lake. The views were spectacular, and the building style and large pine trees made it feel more like Switzerland and less like Italy.

After Lake Como we headed to Bergamo. Bergamo is perched high on a mountain and surrounded by massive walls dating back to the empire of Venice. It was a great stop for a few hours, I could have stayed the night easily. Really beautiful quiet streets, fascinating medieval architecture, and magnificent views over the valley below. Moving on from Bergamo we arrived in Verona for the evening. Verona was made famous as the setting of Romeo and Juliet, it has a lovely old town with twisting streets to explore, a Roman amphitheater, and bridges running over the Adige river. That night at dinner we happened to sit next to a man from Utah. He heard us speaking English and introduced himself and we had a nice little conversation, he was a stone importer and so traveled to Verona often. One of the fun parts of travel is the interesting people you meet, often in the strangest places.

We departed Verona and stopped by Parma on our way to Milan. Parma is at the heart of the region where Parmesan cheese comes from, I guess every regions soil, and climate have effects on the final product hence the regional affiliations with most of the food in Italy. It was a sleepy day in Parma with some rain so we were able to stroll most of the town and have a wonderful lunch before heading to Milan. On our arrival mom found out about the last supper painting, which she really wanted to see so we went straight to the church where it is housed. Issue was the tours were sold out for two solid weeks, while we were milling outside trying to decide what to do I saw one of the tour operators looking around so I headed towards her, she had a ticket so sell from someone who didn’t show up! I grabbed it right away and so mom got to see the painting after all, worked out perfectly.

We spent the rest of the night exploring the fortress and stopping in small cafes for a glasses of wine as we meandered through the city. The last and final day we saw the famous shopping areas and the first indoor mall, went by stores where they sold handbags as expensive as my truck, and generally had fun exploring the city. Our final stop and tour was the Duomo. The church was a mass of marble and granite, every inch embellished with sculptures and figures with no two repeating. You can tour the rooftops, which we did, and find amazing views over the city. It always strikes me that many of the stone masons and other trades most likely worked their entire lives on one project at so many of these places mom and I have now seen. I am not sure if I would have liked that or not, but I am sure those who were able to create structures such as these were very proud that their work would be admired by so many for so long.

All in all it was one of our shortest trips, but wonderful. Travel is really one of my favorite things in life, the adventure and experiences really energize me and keep me going. We flew from Milan to Heathrow and while we were waiting in Heathrow we went to one of the lounges I used to frequent for American Airlines. I remembered one time as I was waiting to check in I saw a little boy that was battling a cancer known as DPIG. It seems to be fatal in almost every case, his mother and he were in Germany for an experimental immunotherapy treatment as there is not much they can do conventionally, though I hope they make rapid advancements for treatment in the future. I remembered sitting there speaking with him and his mother. He seemed fine, like any little boy, focused on his games and telling stories of their trip, I could remember exactly where he was sitting having a snack. That might have been one of the last places I saw him alive.

I don’t mean to end this entry with something sad, I mean to keep you aware that life changes slowly, and then all at once. It is good to be filled with joy, and live life with passion, but it is also important to remember that others are suffering, and we should do all we can to alleviate it. Sometimes we cannot change it, or help, but we can care, and remember, and show them love and compassion. I will never again fly to Heathrow without thinking of Hollis. When I am in a joyful time of life I temper it with remembering that others suffer. When I suffer I know others are too, and that joy can come again, and should it not, that no amount of time or pleasure on this earth will compare to what waits for those who love God after this life is spent. In the meantime, I make of this life what I can with your mother and the three of you, being grateful for the good, and taking joy in the many sweet moments we have. I always think of a line from some poem I once read “arriving early they stayed late, theirs was a long day in the sun”.

Love you guys.

Deacon Turns 5

Well Deacon you just turned 5, figured I would write you so you could remember a bit about what life was like around this time in your life. First of all, you requested a dinosaur themed party, and we delivered. Mom and I dressed like Jurassic Park Rangers, rented a Dino bounce house, and decorated the house with a lot of Dinosaur themed decorations. Pretty much all your little buddies showed up- Micha Butler, Aneas Quijano, Jude, Weston Tomich, Marco Bazilus, Winston, Hank Zuk, Lucas Bevens, and Wyatt Stevens. You were so excited to hang out with your friends and have a boys only party- up to this point we usually combined parties for you and Cora. You got a lot of gifts as usual, favorites being a raptor mask that scared Quinn- that one came from Grandpa Ken and Grandma Patty. You also liked the Lego sets that were pretty much all dinosaur themed as well.

I don’t really remember anything from when I was 5, and I don’t think there are memories written down about it either. This will be your last year before school starts and so it is kind of bitter sweet. Right now, you love movies with monsters and dinosaurs, you don’t seem to scare too easily, you like fighting and wrestling with your friends, and you will ask 500 questions about whatever it may be on your mind. You are so handsome and sweet, you share with your sisters and play so nicely with them most of the time. You and Cora will get into it from time to time, but I can tell the desire of your heart is to just love on them and have fun. One quick memory, you hurt your hip the other day and you said “my tummy ankle is hurting” that was a good one! You have also figured out riding your bike and are nearly free of training wheels- you most likely already would be if we pushed it a little harder.

Five years goes by so quickly, I look at you now and wonder how much I will remember of it when you are a man someday. I guess I just want to remember my sweet brave boy, who saw the wonder of the world untethered by the realities that come with age. I am so happy that you have gotten to live this life of adventure, full of people who love you and surround your life with blessings. I still think about how God reached out and protected you in your mothers womb, and how terribly I would have missed you if you had not made it. I kiss you goodnight after prayers every night, if Quinn is still awake she kisses her DD (as she calls you) goodnight also. I think of how blessed I am to have you in my life and as my son. I love you forever and always.

Mom and Dad Sail Away

Well, mom and I just returned from our great 2018 adventure. We set sail on Oceana cruise lines from Venice, Italy to Athens, Greece; stopping in Dubrovnik Croatia, Kotor Montenegro, Santorini, Mykonos, and lastly Rhodes Greece. In total we spent 13 days away on our trip- kind of a lot, and towards the end we were missing you three like crazy, but after being home for an hour it kind of felt like we had never left.

I have no idea why, but traveling is one of my favorite things. Ever since I was young I had a sense of wonder about the world, and not always faraway places- even exploring my neighborhood or the mountain preserve was one of my favorite past times. Luckily my career has provided plenty of support for getting out and about, and now financially we are able to do some of these further flung trips as well, though even if our means were less there are still a multitude of options. We did a cruise back in 2015 and really enjoyed it, this one was great as well- I think we may sail the high seas a lot in retirement! We are looking to plan a 2020 Disney cruise and bring you all along, I am thinking Alaska as I have always wanted to see it and getting somewhere cool in the summer sounds great.

Venice was our first stop, chances are it could be underwater by the time you all grow up- so if you ever want to see it you better get there early in life. It’s incredible that people decided to settle there, evidently, they were looking to hide out from barbarian tribes and then decades later they had a flourishing city built on trade. The Venetian empire eventually spread all the way to the places we visited in Greece, and beyond, a powerful economy makes for powerful armies. Venice itself is incredibly charming, with the uniqueness of the canals and narrow streets winding through the mazelike town. One of the highlights for me was St Marks Basilica, for more reasons than the name…. We did a tour that entered at night and we were seated underneath the central dome of the Basilica. The lights were slowly turned on to reveal a gold mosaic covering the ceiling which was also adorned with paintings and sculptures.

Next up before Greece was Croatia and Montenegro. Croatia is quite beautiful and lately has been gaining in popularity due to its scenic coastline and also its prominent role in a popular show called Game of Thrones. Dubrovnik was a walled seaport that sits below an imposing mountain, the water is crystal clear and a light turquoise color which is quite striking. We took a boat ride down the coastline and then strolled through the busy town. These older towns surrounded by walls are not large- due to the immense cost and effort to build the walls around them. The streets are narrow for the most part and paved with cobblestone. To Americans like us the charm is incredible, we are not used to anything older than 100 years in most cases. A reoccurring thought that came to me was how so many of the places we have visited seemed to have had their pinnacle- in many cases hundreds, or thousands of years ago, and nowadays live off the memory of the glory years. People come to see what was, not what is.

Montenegro was a welcome break from the summer heat. Shortly after exiting the boat in the bay of Kotor we boarded a bus for a drive up a nerve fraying switchback filled mountain road. Once we finally reached the top we were rewarded with amazing views of the bay and mountains that rose across the horizon. We stopped at a small restaurant perched at on the mountain for a cold beer and light sandwich- you know come to think of it, it may have been a warm beer. We spend the rest of the day touring the old capital and then the old city which was equally charming as Dubrovnik in my opinion. We took shelter from a sudden downpour in a small shop, the owner of which kept urging us to stay when I would move to leave. At first I thought we would annoy him by just hanging out waiting for the rain to pass, but he was happy to have us. It was a good thing too because we found a really cool copper clock with roman numerals and the astrological signs- similar to one in a square we saw in Venice. Before we left he presented us with a bible printed in both English and Montenegrin, he flipped to John 3:16, I felt very sure it was not blind chance we ended up in his shop during the downpour. One thing I may long remember is pulling out of the bay of Kotor, sitting on our balcony shielded from a downpour watching as the coast drifted away. The air was so cool and fresh, we just reminisced on the beauty of the day and how lovely everything was, just one of those small moments that last.

After a day at sea we rounded out some Greek islands, Santorini, Mykanos and Rhodes. Santorini was barren but beautiful, white washed homes perched on the slopes of plunging mountains that led to a sapphire sea. We walked some of the streets and then rented the worlds crappiest car, a “smart” car. Clever bit of advertising that was- most overpriced underbuilt POC ever put together. We had lunch in Megalochori, and then drove to Vichada Beach. The beach has some beautiful and striking white rock formations behind it, the sand is black and volcanic- as the island itself was once a giant volcano that blew out to form is crescent shape. It was our first time swimming in the Aegean Sea, which was lovely as the black sand seemed to warm up the water to a perfect temperature.

The highlight of Rhodes for me was the old medieval town. It was surrounded by high walls and a moat and had never been taken by force. All the nations of Europe had stationed Knights there and because the city was never sacked it still remained as it did hundreds of years ago. Walking along the narrow streets you just had to wonder about all of those who had come before, what their lives and concerns were, who they had loved and what they had spent their life pursuing. I found a bronze hand knocker much to my delight, I had seen them on many doors around Greece. We were well off the beaten path when we found the shop on a deserted street. The old woman inside was so kind and showed us pictures of the craftsman who made it and his initials in the hand. The knocker currently sits at my desk at home, but hopefully soon I will find somewhere to hang it.

Mykanos was the last stop, an island currently known for the charm of Mykanos town, as well as the party atmosphere at its beaches where many people much younger than I celebrate into the early hours of the morning- never really was my scene. We spent most of the day on the island of Delos. The island was once home to a thriving city that is now all ruins, barely any of it has been excavated, but what has is truly impressive. Once again I found myself marveling at all the things these people had accomplished so long ago, they had mosaics decorating their multi story homes, theaters and trading, there was advertising for a number of commercial concerns, artistry and industry- they lived thousands of years ago but in so many ways were just like us. The bible says there is nothing new under the sun, my travels and experiences have proved it true. Arriving back in Mykanos we strolled through the streets to the bus stop and boarded one for Platis Gialos where we rented some beach chairs and swam again in the Aegean sea. This beach was somewhat less beautiful to me as the surroundings were not wild but commercial, but it was sandy with lovely water and it proved an excellent way to spend an afternoon.

After so many days and stops we finally arrived to our last port of call, Athens. By this time we were both missing you all quite a bit, but had some remaining days to explore. Athens is not in my estimation a beautiful city, the architecture is from the 60’s-80’s and bland, and everything seems to be covered in graffiti. However, that said it is a nice city, full of history, warm people, and a great climate and culture. We explored the Acropolis with its many temples, journeyed outside the city to the temple of Poseidon perched above the sea at the southernmost point of Attica, and wandered through sprawling museums rich with centuries of history. I think the Acropolis and the trip to Sounio where the temple of Poseidon rests were my favorite parts.

The one thing that tied it all together for me was being there with your mother. As I grow older she becomes more and more my favorite person, the one I am most at ease around and with. When I see or experience something wonderful I want her to be there too. I want all of you to have that as well someday. As I have been writing lately life is not worth living if you live it alone, and the greatest part of life is love. Do what you love with the ones you love. Showing love to those that don’t deserve it, and better yet being there in love for the ones who desperately need it.

There will always be a piece of me watching the sunset in Sounio, the last rays of orange reflecting across the blue waves to the white marble etched and placed by hand thousands of years ago, part of me is with those stones now. As long as I live I will have a table in Athens watching children play and old couples gather for dinner as I share a bottle of wine, a light Semillon with your mother, reflecting on our journey together. One cannot increase time, but one can use it well, to store up treasures where no one and nothing can take them. Even if someday I forget myself, those things will always be a part of me now, as you will always be a part of me, no matter what may come.

I want to take a small moment to remind that life can be short, and will never be fair, but will always have beauty- even if we cannot see it. This past week a beautiful little girl named Oakley Poth passed away from Leukemia, she was not quite 3 years old. Her family wrote that they know she is in heaven with our Father now, there will be no more pain or tears, and we will all be with her soon. The pain is for those who remain, and who miss her every day. I write this to remind you that the things that seem hard in life are often trivial, we must be grateful for even our worst days that we get to spend with one another. I know Oakleys family would give anything to have her for one more moment, one more cuddle or kiss or laugh. We must live life knowing it will end, as to make the most of it before it does.  

Quinn- you are still my blue-eyed monster. You are so beautiful, and can be so sweet- and then there is the two-year-old part of you that melts down into a red-hot rage and deep deep sorrow when things don’t go your way! You love when we dance as a family, usually to Taylor Swift that Cora puts on. Cora copies your dance moves and you get a big kick out of it. You have most of us at your beckon call, you love babies and push them often in your stroller around the house. You are also a big fan of Daniel Tiger and I think this past weekend you fell a bit in love with Cash Bishop- you kept calling his name and would smile whenever you saw him, you two played together nonstop at his cabin in Payson. “Cashy” is how you called him. You are my sweet muffin, or Quinsters or Quinny as I call you, I love you so much.

Cora, lately you are a somewhat sad reminder of how quickly life can pass by. All of a sudden, my little girl seems like a little woman. We cut your hair short- partially because Bella cut hers short, partially because you took scissors to your hair on your own accord more than once and sort of butchered it.…. lets say you were less than eager to share the truth about what happened. Ill play with your brother and sister and you’ll ask me to do the same things to you, trouble is I cant easily toss you overhead or spin you around in circles without throwing my back out! You were the only one that had us all to yourselves for 3 years though, so you had plenty of playtime. You make me proud every day, you are so smart, and I love how silly you are in your heart, how much joy you have. One thing we have been working on is gratitude, I want to make sure I raise you to know your life is not someone elses fault, and its up to you to decide how to live joyfully no matter what comes, that only you can chose the direction of your life. I really don’t want to fail you in that. One other note is you are playing volleyball like crazy- practice 3 days in a row and then a game day- if it becomes too much we will cancel the school volleyball to give you some rest- but energy never seems to be lacking with you! I love you so much- forever my Cora lovey.

Family Summer Vacation 2018

Well our 2018 family vacation (minus Quinn) is in the books. This year we set out to Legoland and SeaWorld. I am reasonably sure that the very idea came from your asking Cora, after seeing numerous advertisements on TV. Also due to the advertising we stayed in the new Legoland Castle hotel- I think the thing you two were most excited about was the bunkbed in the room.

Our roadtrip there went well all in all, which means you two slept and or quietly watched your iPads most of the time! One thing I remembered from my childhood which I wanted to do for you was to stop at a gas station and let each of you pick something out- we did this in Yuma. I don’t know why it felt special to me as a kid, but it was fun for me to relive it through you- Deacon you got M&M’s and Cora you got some kind of gummies. One other eventful part was as we made the climb from the desert to the mountains before you get to San Diego we went through a storm- it wasn’t raining very hard but we got to drive through a cloud. You both put your hands and heads outside the windows thought it was pretty cold- I couldn’t see too far ahead so I was focused on the road.

Legoland was awesome, and seeing you two have so much fun was even better. Once you are a parent you will realize that one of the best parts is seeing your children filled with joy. From having breakfast in the mornings (pancakes for Cora and waffles for Deacon) to all the rides, you two were in heaven. Cora, you were particularly happy that each day you got to drink soda- another vacation treat. Deacon every single day you found time to nap on me around noon for about 20-30min, but you never once complained about walking around or being too tired- you were a real trooper. Cora you didn’t complain either- except once when you fell down and scrapped your leg and acted like it was the end of the world…. But you recovered after a few rides.

I think our favorite rides overall were the roller coasters, much to my surprise you two braved each and every one of them. I remember riding a similar one in Disneyland when I was young and I got so scared I didn’t ride a roller coaster again until I was a Freshman in high school- I guess you two are going to be a lot braver than me. We started with the dinocoaster, then there was a dragon roller coaster, and finally an oddly named Lego Technic Coaster. Deacon one of your favorite rides was a mummy ride where we all got to shoot lasers at a target, Cora your favorite was the Dragon coaster. One nice part about being there before school was out is there were hardly any lines, thinking back on this trip as I write makes me sad its all over- but also makes me smile thinking of all the fun we had.

We ended up at Seaworld on Saturday, which meant it was a bit more crowded but we still had a great time. There were three shows that we did, a dolphin show, sealion show, and the orca show. The dolphins was kind of an acrobatics display, the sealions were all comedy, and the orcas were just amazing to see. By the time you two are adults the orca show will most likely have ceased, there was a documentary called Blackfish made a few years back that created a lot of controversy about having whales in captivity. There are arguments to be made on both sides, but ultimately when I looked around at the 400 people or more in the stadium I know 99% of us will never see an Orca in the wild, and seeing them in Seaworld helps us appreciate them, and if that ultimately makes us more responsible in preserving the wales environment then I think it is a good thing. In any case all the shows were great. We also did some rides, two of which soaked us to the bone!

Spending time as a family seeing you two growing and learning and having fun is the best part of my life. I am at this point where my youth is more and more behind me, which sometimes gets me down. However, seeing your lives take shape and being able to pour adventure and fun into them, being able to help give you a great childhood gives such purpose to my life. I know things won’t always be as they are when you are 7 and 4, you won’t always want to hang out with me and cuddle and listen to most things I say, and that’s ok, because life is all about seasons. This is one of my favorites, the young innocent, great wide world of possibilities and adventure season. I want to let you live in it for as long as you can and enjoy it as much as you can before the next season arrives.

One aside I will mention, while we were in the Legoland your mother spotted a child wearing a Make A Wish badge. Make A Wish is an organization that was set up to bless children with terminal health issues by granting a wish, like a trip to Disneyland, Legoland, or meeting a celebrity. I thought it was an important reminder during our fun that we cannot take anything for granted, and that we should always be cognizant that there are people in this world who are struggling and hurting. I don’t bring this up to make us feel bad about our fun, but to draw attention to the balance of life and the frailty of it. Life cannot be about only serving yourself, and though some moments will be full of joy others will be full of struggle. For me it was a reminder to live in those moments with you as much as I can and never take them for granted, and now I will always have the memories of our trip together, and I hope you will too.

Cora- you were such a big girl on this trip, so helpful at every turn and so open to expressing how much you were enjoying everything. You left a note for the housekeepers in the Legoland hotel that those had been the best two days of your life. You were also kind to your brother during the trip and at times when he would need it you comforted him, and you played with him really nicely. The souvenir you decided on was a white seal- or Harp seal- you thought about your purchase for a few days, you are so smart and always put your thoughts together so well. I am so proud of you and love you so much.

Quinn- you stayed home for this one since you were not quite two years old. You pretty much shunned us when we got back, as I am sure you were a bit mad. You seemed to have a very good time with Mimi and Papa though. Also when we got back we found you learned the phrases, no no mommy, no no daddy. So that has been fun lately! I mostly call you my fuzzy headed monster, or still Qunisters. You are so sweet and cuddly, and your hair is getting so long and a bit curly at the ends in the back. I sure do love you.