Summer 2025- Turkey!

 Turkey- okay so this was a big one, our summer trip for 2025. I wanted to do something slightly different, and I had some European friends who had visited and the more I looked into it the better it sounded. I was fortunate to have a friend at church who had visited on a mission trip and he connected me with a woman who had been there 33 times- so I had some great advice in planning it. Our route was as follows- Istanbul for 4 nights, Cappadocia (we stayed in Goreme) for 3 nights, Antalya for 4 nights, Parmukkale for 2 nights, then Selcuk (Ephesus) for 1 night, back to Istanbul for a quick sleep then back home…. We saw a lot!

            Istanbul was an incredible city- we arrived at about 1:40 in the morning, had around a 40min drive to our hotel in the historic area, and we all crashed good and hard. It was funny, the next morning when we finally got up you guys asked us who was singing outside last night and that they sounded terrible…. It was the 4AM call to prayer that you heard since we were in a Muslim country. We spend out first day getting a feel for the city, wandering through coffee shops, Cora you got an opal ring, Quinn you got a Sultan Stone necklace that changes colors depending on the lighting, and we just had a fun day as a family with no real schedule. Day 2 we did a private cruise on a very nice boat along the Bosporus- I think it made you guys all feel like we were rich. The weather was perfect and the views were incredible, it was strange to be cruising a waterway that was so critical throughout history as a link between east and west. The rest of the week we explored ancient Byzantine  / Eastern Roman Empire sites like the Hagia Sophia, underground cisterns, the seat of the Greek Orthodox Church and the Grand Bazaar. We also explored Mosques that were built after the Turks invaded and conquered what was Constantinople. Our guide took us to see a lot of things, and of course into his pre-appointed shopping stops, in which we ended up like typical tourists acquiring a few Turkish Rugs, evidently I have a soft spot for Turkish rugs- or I am an easy mark, maybe both.  

            We then left the big city behind- flying first class because I booked the tickets a bit late- once again you guys felt very wealthy- and arrived in Cappadocia. This was a great stop- we stayed in a cave hotel with a wonderful view over Goreme. This area is famous for its unique rock formations, and for the morning hot air balloons. We tried doing the balloons but the morning we attempted it was too windy, thankfully they are also really beautiful from the ground. We had a great guide for two full days- exploring a lot of ancient Christian sites where they studied and lived, often carving out homes in the rock formations themselves. We also explored two underground cities which was incredible, likely the highlight from this stop. The Christians who lived in the area had first started digging these cities during the Roman persecution, then expanded them again as Arab invaders moved in during their conquest and spreading of Islam. The tunnel systems are complex with ventilation shafts, locking passageways, and fresh water access, they did not live in them long term, more of a temporary place of refuge when raiders came. Cora would not follow us down some of the narrow passages, Deacon you loved every minute of it, Quinn you got a bit scared, but then Deacon offered his hand to give you courage and you explored with us. Some of the passages did not have any light so we used our phones- and there were certainly no other tourists around but for some reason I wasn’t scared even though I don’t typically like being in small underground places….

            From Cappadocia we headed to Antalya- a beautiful Roman city by the sea, made famous by the Emperor Hadrian- and the gate named after him to the old city still stands. Antalya was a very beachy Mediterranean feel, placed on the coast line you had a wonderful view from cliffs overlooking the sea, sandy beaches are about 25 minutes’ drive from town, and rising in the background all around are dramatic mountains. We had a guide take us to the ancient cities of Perge and Aspendos- which were Greek and then Roman. The cities were immense, well planned and laid out, and some of the plumbing they had in place is actually still there- fascinating to think that we live in a world where some people even today do not have indoor plumbing and yet these people enjoyed it thousands of years ago. We got to move all through the ruins, and it was mostly tourist free. We then had some beach days and a day doing some adventures in the mountains outside of town. The adventure was canyoneering and rafting, we started with the canyoneering. The water was crystal clear, fed from springs, a beautiful topaz color…. And it was pretty cold! Quinn you were first in line after the guide- which means you got to watch him swim rapids and then you dove right in! You did awesome and it gave the rest of us confidence watching how you did. At the end of the rafting they offered us to either swim or hike out- we decided to swim even though Deacon wanted to hike. We swam for about 15min past waterfalls, through the canyon, under an old roman bridge- it was beautiful- but Deacon was freezing and said he couldn’t feel his hands, he recovered in the sun in time for rafting though. The rafting was also a blast, some great rapids and wonderful scenery yet again. All in all it was a great full day of adventures that was well needed. Deacon we also picked up your souvenir in Antalya- you had been wanting a nice knock off watch since we arrived and finally found one for about $10 USD, a lovely gold and red watch, we all told you that you would have to be careful as now the ladies were not going to leave you alone.

            We then rented a car from the airport and drove a few hours down the coast to Adrasan, a very small town on the Mediterranean with about 20 tour boats lined up every morning to take people up and down the beautiful coast. We had a private boat, which was actually really affordable, with a really kind Captain, his wife who made us the best fish I have had in a long time, and his father who used to be the Captain. The sea was beautiful, the day, the people, the swimming, the food- if there was a most perfect day we could all agree on during the trip this was it. We all got a little sunburned but it was worth it. My heart was so full watching the old man teach Deacon how to fish, watching Mom and Quinn play with Deacon in the water by dumping him off the longboard he was floating on, seeing you explore and have exactly what you had been hoping for Cora- all set in one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. 

              After our perfect day at sea we drove to Pamukkale, and to one of our favorite hotels- the Cotton House. Pamukkale is famous for calcium covered waterfalls that cascade down a hill, from a distance it looks like snow on the mountain, but up close its really beautiful shallow pools filled with milky white soft mud- people believe it has healing properties- and one of you had some cut or something on your foot that did get remarkably better after wading in the pools. The ruins of a Roman town are above the falls, which we walked through first before following the path through the water back to our hotel. Okay I also mentioned that the Cotton House was our favorite hotel, well it wasn’t because it was the fanciest.

              On the night we arrived the owner- an older man and his wife came to greet us- and started to prepare a dinner for us- you guys had napped while I drove so you were not as spent as I was! We all came to appreciate the delicious dinners they made, we ate there the two nights we stayed in town. Our favorite was “mammas meatballs” but they also had lamb and chicken. Not on the menu was the dinner guests- cats- that would come and ask politely for food and pets. There was one male cat- and his harem of female cats… the old man said he was very jealous of the cat! In the morning they also made a delicious breakfast, we had a very sweet man that worked there that took excellent care of us. You also all made friends with our favorite kitten, we named Bumble Bee. Bumble Bee was black with some white and orange spots- really beautiful, and was extremely friendly with you all. We desperately wanted to take her home but that would be a lot of paperwork and time that we didn’t really have. Don’t worry, we did take home souvenirs from the Cotton House though…. That’s right- I got talked into another Turkish rug. Cora I should also mention the man that worked there was so sweet to you. In the afternoons when we would come home to rest you would go read in the garden. The gentlemen would always bring you fresh fruit from that very same garden, and generally just make sure you had any and every comfort available.

              Cora since we didn’t get to hot air ballon in Cappadocia, we decided to try it in Pamukkale. Since the price was way below what they had charged before we all decided to do it. We had our very fun 4am wakeup, then us and some feisty Russian couples drove out to a field where there must have been 20 ballons in various stages of being inflated. We were all a bit nervous as it was the first time for all of us, but the liftoff was smooth and even though I am afraid of heights I didn’t feel uncomfortable in the wicker basket as we dangled a few thousand feet above the ground. As a note, they offered a price for pictures from the trip while we were in the ballon, in this case it pays not to carry much cash because they settled for what we had on hand, which was about 80% off the asking price, good old Turkish negotiation! Deacon you and Quinn were not too happy when we really started gaining height, and neither was your mother, Cora you seemed generally okay with it like I was, maybe a bit less so. In any case it was beautiful to watch the sunrise and float past the white waterfalls we had traversed down just the day before, the view was quite spectacular from the air. The landing was incredibly smooth, we saw a few others come down much harder.

 We also visited the ancient city of Laodicea- which is mentioned in the bible by Jesus and also in the letters to the churches in the book of Revelation. I find it fascinating that the book of Revelation- about the end times- contains letters to cities that are now mere rubble, buried under layers of dirt and rock and long since uninhabited- for them the end time came far sooner. In any case the city had only recently begun to be excavated, primarily due to wealthy Christian organizations. Its wonderful they did because it was truly impressive, including the ancient church with its mosaic flooring.

              After saying a long goodbye to our feline friends and the proprietors of our hotel we headed out for our last stop, Selcuk, which is just outside the ancient city of Ephesus. Since it was a longer drive we stopped halfway there at Aphrodisas, another ancient Roman city. This one was also quite beautiful- its strange how these large cities were never built over. For instance, Rome the new is built on the old, in most cases around it, which is similar to a lot of other European cities. In Turkey that is the case some places but it always made me wonder- why some sites were completely abandoned, at one time thousands of people decided this was a great place to live, and then slowly they just faded away forever, in my mind its strange. In any case the city was beautiful, but the most fun was the busloads of local school children- middle schoolish age I think, that were really checking you guys out when we went in. Cora was pretty sure one of them said to Deacon “nice drip nice drip”. Maybe you guys were some of the first American kids they had seen, honestly away from the tourist areas there were not many, and even then its mostly adults, not kids that are tourists.

              We drove through very narrow streets, with a very stressed out father, up a verry steep hill to our rental house- it overlooked the city and a fortress that was nearby on a hill. That evening we went out to a local beach, which was huge, with very warm and shallow water and splashed around for awhile to take in the Mediterranean sea one last time. On our last full day in the country we toured Ephesus. The city was far more crowded than any other ancient one we visited, for two reasons, one it was famous for being a center of Christianity, as well as one of the largest Roman cities of the ancient world, and two- it sits fairly close to the coast and therefore cruise ships can dock nearby and shuttle thousands of tourists off the boats each day. That and the general heat put a bit of a damper on the experience, but it was still incredible to see, and to know we were walking where Paul walked and preached. We also toured the Virgin Mary house…. But I am not sure why. It was a small catholic shrine with some evidence she might have lived there with John after Jesus was crucified. There is a small home with a statue of her, which many people were prostrating themselves in front of and praying- as protestants- its not really our thing to  pray to statues, let alone to anyone but God. In any case I don’t think I need to see any more catholic shrines in my life. The owner of the home we stayed in was gracious enough to allow for a late checkout- so we all returned and showered and relaxed before out flight to Istanbul, then our short stay in a terrible airport hotel for about 4 hours of sleep before our flights home.

              The trip was just incredible, but honestly I have an incredible time whenever we travel together as a family. We are so blessed to have the health, and for now, the means to do so. Both of those things can change, but what wont is how much we love one another and how special it is to be a family. I could never have even fathomed the joy that each of you would bring to my life. I get sad all the time about you all growing up, because this time is so special, but I am also incredibly proud of who you are all becoming. I love you all so much, I will write again soon as I took a new job and have been travelling more overseas and need to do a better job of writing to you when I miss you- which is all the time, so this will be my outlet. 

Summer 2024

 

Summer 2024 was in a word- Epic. I believe the idea started when a friend of mine told me about a program the National Parks have that when you are in 4^th grade you get access to all the parks for free, and then your mother jumped all over the idea and really increased the scope. The shocking part is that of all the parks we visited- all in the western US, I had only been to one of them already!

Starting in June we journeyed to the beautiful state of Utah, beginning first with Bryce Canyon, the only place I had been to before. One of my favorite hikes was honestly the first one of the whole trip, which was technically outside the park boundary, but a good stretch of the legs after the long drive, the mossy cave trail. I think what I liked about it so much is it was the first of many, and your responses were so positive. You all wanted to keep exploring, and you were all enjoying how beautiful (and nowhere near as hot as Phoenix) it was. On our real day in Bryce Canyon we did the Navajo Loop Trail, to the Queens Garden, and then came up Wallstreet. We got a bit warm at some points but all in all the hiking was beautiful and seeing the hoodoo rock formations and coloring was really fun. I got to talk in my foreign accent and unbutton my shirt to a dangerously exposed level which really made
Cora happy!

Next up was Zion. We stayed in a small, 2 queen and one rollaway twin bedroom- but the key is we stayed in the only hotel inside the park gates. The advantage of this was that we got a jump start on the day, didn’t have to wait in long shuttle lines, and had a great place to relax mid-day when it was the hottest outside. Our first hike was to the Zion overlook- it was a good start to the trip to watch the sunset over a beautiful view of the park. The trail there was pretty easy and we killed time waiting for the sun to go down by scrambling over the rocks and generally exploring. The next day we started with the best hike we did in Zion- The Narrows! The Narrows is where the canyon tapers and you are basically hiking in the Virgin River the entire time, which was awesome, but a bit chilly in the morning. We started around 9am, and pretty quickly had to pass the deepest spot, which for me was up to my lower chest- so Deacon and Cora you got pretty wet- Quinn, I put you on my shoulders so you mostly got your legs wet. I had read ahead of time about the need for walking sticks so we were well prepared for the slippery rocks beneath us and we all kept our balance well. We went about 2 miles up the river- stopping for snacks anytime we found a sunny spot because the water had drained all our heat. All of us were sunning ourselves like lizards on the rocks, Cora you’ve actually always called it Lizarding. We stopped at a good spot, though each bend in the river seemed to reveal another beautiful scene. Deacon you were such a skinny boy that the cold really affected you and you were shivering pretty good- and really didn’t want to go further. The nice thing was that as we turned around the sun got to the point where it was shinning into the canyon and so the water- and our bodies- all warmed up nicely. As we were hiking out all three of you began to swim in the river and play with floating down it instead of hiking down it. Our afternoons were spent relaxing in the lawn outside the hotel under the giant cottonwood tree, or in the room napping. That night we had an early dinner- during which Deacon ordered “the big sexy burger” when it came he remarked “that’s not as sexy as I thought it would be”, which had us all cracking up. We did a hike after to Watchman Overlook. That night we stayed up until 11 and walked out to see the stars. It was so magical because there is no light pollution out there. The canyon walls loomed overhead, but in the pitch black they only appeared as though the sky was starless, at their crest the light dotted heavens expanded overhead, truly showing where we ended and the sky began. Our last day we did a more grueling hike (mostly due to a bridge being out) called the Emeral Pools, and that evening did Scout Lookout- which is part of the Angels landing trail. Scout Lookout was a peaceful end to our three days in Zion, the trail was empty, and we were hiking a good path above the virgin river, with views up and down the canyon as the sunset and the softer light was reflecting off the canyon walls. On a funny note- with about 300 yards left back to the hotel Coras dinner began not to agree with her- so I adapted Taylor Swifts song- “you need to calm down” to “I need to go now” and made it about bathroom emergencies…. It fit perfectly, the lyrics almost wrote themselves- good news Cora, you made it in time.

After a few weeks we hit the road again July 9^th- destination Yosemite! I do believe this was the most beautiful stop on our whole trip, its no wonder it is known worldwide and draws visitors from across the globe. Our first day we did what was most likely the most beautiful hike- Vernal Falls. It was also the most crowded with some pretty decent uphill portions and a long staircase to the top of the falls but each step was well worth the reward. When we were halfway up the staircase section I spotted an un-used trail leading to the falls- we followed it and had some amazing pictures and moments being misted by the waterfall and seeing the rainbow the mist made when the sun was hitting it at the right angle. At the top of the falls there was a great area to explore and relax and have our snack. Once we made it back we had some pizza and ice cream back in Curry Village and then did a bit of driving and exploring the Valley, ultimately doing a small hike to Bridal Veil falls where we enjoyed the way the waterfall would change depending on the winds, and cooling our feet in the creek below it. Day two we headed down the Glacier Point road to the Sentinel Dome and Taft Point hikes. Sentinel Dome was awesome, and provided what were probably the best views we had of the entire Valley. You guys thought I was joking when we were still far away and I told you we were going to the top- but really the trail up there was a gentle slope and the granite provides a nice grippy surface. The trail to Taft Point was also beautiful, we found some wonderful wildflower fields along the creek and it lulled us into relaxing before we got to Taft Point which was terrifying because you can get right up to the edge of some drop offs hundreds of feet to the valley floor below. Mom and I were freeked out, especially with Deacon as you never know what that little boy is going to do! We quickly took in the views and headed back to our car. Our final spot we actually would end up visiting twice- Glacier Point overlook. The real gem here was the view of Half Dome, and also Vernal and Nevada falls off to its right. After we had dinner that evening and relaxed back at our rental house we left around 9:30 and drove through the dark back to Glacier Point. My idea was to see it on a clear night with a backdrop of stars and that is just what we got! Mom was a bit worried about ledges as it was dark but she eventually calmed down, the surprising thing was there were people there around 10PM when we got there, but a little later they were all gone and we had the place to ourselves. We just sat and took in the view, chatting and joking, and mom taught me how to take night pictures on an iphone which became some of my favorite pictures from the whole trip- the three of you sitting facing Half Dome- silhouetted against the night sky dotted with stars and the moon reflecting off the granite monolith in front of you- that’s an image I will always remember. Our last full day we traveled to the far side of the park in the Tuolume Meadows area. We did some small exploring hikes but ended up spending a lot of the day lounging on the sandy beach at Tenaya Lake. The water was pretty cold but Cora got all the way in and swam around some, the rest of us only managed about half our bodies…. Mom managed up to her ankles. The weather was perfect and I actually got quite a nice sunburn on the front of my body- the altitude up there helped out with that. That evening we explored the giant Sequoias and the imposing Grizzly Giant in Mariposa Grove, a nice last stop on a cool evening hike.

Our next stop was a brief one, we piled into the car, and then a hotel for one night before heading to Crater Lake National Park. Crater Lake was maybe one of the more uniquely blue lakes I have ever seen, we did a small hike to Watchman Peak, which was fun due to one section of the trail still being covered in snow, in mid-July! I enjoyed the few hours we had at the park, buy I was really looking forward to our next stop quite a bit- the beach!

Bandon Beach is in southwest Oregon, and I rented us a house built in 1946 that sits right on the shore, overlooking the beautiful surf and rock formations just beyond. When we arrived it was about 65 degrees with a light misting rain, for your mother and I it was heavenly compared to the 115 dry and sunny days in Phoenix we were leaving behind. Sitting on the deck, watching the waves crash, sharing a glass of wine or coffee with mom, watching from the deck as you guys played on the beach, it was all a little slice of perfection. The next few days were actually quite sunny and in the mid 60’s to 70’s. We spent our time walking on the beach, playing and actually doing some races (Cora you got beat by Mom!), exploring the town- where we got some wonderful chocolates and did some shopping, and playing whatever games we could come up with. I also booked us a UTV rental at the Bandon dunes- which freeked Cora out, but that Deacon loved. It kind of scared me a bit as well, cause you would go up these giant dunes and you didn’t quite know what was on the other side- and or if someone was driving up the other side at the same time, in the same place as you were…. We had rented it for two hours but ended up calling it good after one hour of driving. On the way back we got ice cream and mom and I samples cheese at Face Rock Creamery- which was all incredible. The next evening we did a horseback ride along the beach. All of our horses were great, and each of us handled our own. It was such a perfect evening, riding along the soft sand while the waves were coming in and the sun was retiring over the horizon, we all loved it, perhaps Quinn loved it the most though. Mom set up a timelapse video on our deck when we left for dinner- its such a great video of our last night there and the sun slowly sinking over the horizon, the way the light shifts over the 5 hours she recorded for until it was fully dark was breathtaking.

We all dragged our feet leaving the beach house, but the next destination was calling- Mount Rainer. We stayed in Ashford, just outside the main park entrance in a nice quiet little cabin. It once again, like a few places we had stayed had only one bathroom, which made me think about how we could do with far less than the 4 we have at home. Our first day was clear and sunny, and mostly uphill! We hiked the skyline trail which was about 2 miles… but like I said a pretty good incline at altitude. You all complained quite a bit, but once we got to the viewpoints the scenery was spectacular. Wildflowers were growing on all the green slopes, you could see numerous waterfalls from the melting glaciers, and above it all loomed Mount Rainer. We found an area still covered in snow and each of us did some very brisk sledding on our backsides down the path- it was a nice cooldown! We explored around a bit more and all three of you fell asleep in the car on the way to the next hike, which we did about a half mile of before we gave up- Cora ran most of the way back due to some bugs who did not want to leave her alone. We spent the rest of the day relaxing in the hot tub and doing some reading. The next day we went to the far side of the park near the Stevens Canyon entrance and started with Naches Peak. Good thing I read reviews about mosquitoes and were prepared, cause they were everywhere! Their presence kept us motivated and moving along the 3.5 mile trail, which we had some nice cloud cover for. The views were once again spectacular, trail uncrowded, and wildflowers abundant. Our final hike was Silver Falls. It was, and is, the most beautiful water I have seen in my entire life. We detoured from the main trail to a spot along the riverbank, and it was something out of a movie, a time before people had polluted the world, the water looked like it had been purified and then colored an almost bright turquoise blue. Cora you and I desperately wanted to swim in it… but the temperature and remaining hiking dissuaded us. All in all I loved our time in Rainer, we watched Harry and the Henderson’s which was filmed there back in the 80’s, and you guys loved it, a nice throw back for mom and I to a movie from our youth.

Our next stop in the State of Washington was Lake Quinault, which sits in an area considered to be a rainforest, which is also part of Olympic National Park. We rented a beautiful VRBO nestled in a cleared grass field surrounded by a stream- it had more than one bathroom so everyone was happy! We actually met up with the Quijanos on our first day there and did a small hike and then saw the worlds largest Sitka Spruce tree- which you all looked at for about 15 seconds and then ran for the lake to play and splash around. The next day we took a beautiful drive through the rain forest to hike the north fork of the Quinault River. We were the only ones on the trail, and there are a lot of bears and cougars in the area- so you guys made very sure you were never the last in line. One time mom ended up in the middle of the pack and you all made her move to the back! We made it about 2.5 miles to our destination and then explored along the river, we found a place that was one of the most splendid scenes I could imagine. A sandy riverbank along a curve in the river, the far side covered in tall trees, the sunlight pouring down on us, the water was perfectly clear with enough rapids that were neither too loud or quiet, the perfect peaceful spot for lunch and relaxation. We played along the shore and waded in the water and we probably all got more tanned than we expected, I loved that hike and that day. Cora, you may not remember so ill write it down here, but mom stopped to pee at the same spot in the trail on the way in and out, and that particular spot and a stream and maybe the worlds largest Maple tree, so you and I decided to call it, Mom’s mossy maple pissin creek. Thought you may want to know that someday long from when I am writing this. One more thing, we all wore matching shirts on the hike. Cora you and I protested greatly about them, but honestly I feel bad for doing so and let it go when the time came. Your mother worked hard on them, and did a good job on the design. As corny as I thought they were I love the picture of us all wearing them, and I love your mothers heart behind making them.

Next we headed up the coast to stay with a friend of mine who has a house along the ocean shore in Sequim WA, along the way we made a stop at Sol Duc Falls to stretch our legs and it was well worth the short hike through another part of Olympic National Forest. Cora when we arrived at my friends house he was showing us around and took us to what’s basically a self-contained apartment over their garage, you quickly claimed the place to yourself and it was like you were living on your own for 4 nights. During our stay Andrew graciously took us out on his boat, Quinn you caught a small shark, Deacon you caught some other fish I cant remember, but best of all he taught us how to catch Dungeness Crab. We lowered 4 pots into the bay and returned late that afternoon to haul them up. Each of you got to take a turn using the winch to lift the pots, and then Andy showed us how to determine their sex, and measure which ones were large enough to keep. That wasn’t the only foraging for dinner we would do, as after we set the pots we drove to a nearby tidal area while the tide was out and learned how to find oysters and clams- quite the experience for us desert dwellers. I cant say any of us were huge fans of how the oysters or clams tasted, but mom was brave enough to eat a raw one on the beach. I attempted…. But ended up spitting it out as I thought I might gag- I’ve had them in restaurants- guess they were smaller, but nevertheless, still not a fan. That night we had a feast, Crab, Oysters, Clams and of course, great company that was generous enough to share their weekend, and a few days of their lives with us. Hospitality is such a beautiful thing, to feel welcomed in a strange place, to be given comfort and nourishment, to be extended the invitation to join someone’s life, to cost someone something, but to be given it freely and cheerfully- its one of the greatest things in life to receive, and to give hospitality. The next day we traveled back into Olympic National Park and up to Hurricane Ridge. It was about a 3-mile hike, but on the way there all uphill…. Cora we had a small conversation on the way up through a slightly bad attitude you were harboring about finding the beauty in the place you are in life, and being able to find gratitude even though things aren’t going exactly to your liking. I believe I perhaps harshly told you “only losers cant find the beauty in a place like this, you may never be here again in your life, and plenty of people wish they were standing right where you are right now, just because its not easy to hike up this hill doesn’t mean we aren’t surrounded by beauty, so stop complaining and focus on what things you should be grateful for- the people who took us here, that you can walk up a mountain like this with strong legs, and that all around you there is beauty. You’re not a loser, so stop acting like one.” At least it was something along those lines- as you read this later in life know something- its normal to complain as a teenager, kind of par for the course as they say, but I want to make sure you mature through it- cause adults who complain all the time are insufferable bores, who live lonely and small lives. In any case, lecture aside, we made it to the top- enjoyed seeing out to Canada, and the still snowcapped mountains in central Olympic on a clear beautiful day. One thing you might all also remember were the two Cavalier King spaniels our friends had, Frankie and Feddy, they were so sweet and you all loved them.

We departed Sequim and headed for Lake Tahoe, where it had actually been four years since our last trip there, after a few regular summers of spending at least a week on its cool shores. One small detour note- on the way down to Tahoe we stopped in Poulsbo WA, one to see one of moms friends, and secondly- but perhaps most importantly visit Sluys Bakery. We waited in a small line out front and gazed through the window, making our plans for everything we would order. We ended up with two boxfuls of sweet treats- Deacon you ate the largest chocolate donut I’ve ever seen- they called it the Happy Viking, we all enjoyed our treats at the oceanside park while mom and her friend chatted. Lake Tahoe was beautiful as always, days by the beach, reading, splashing, relaxing, evenings in the hot tub, watching the Olympics, listening to the trees swaying. Quinn you had your birthday while we were there which we celebrated with some chocolate cake and presents from your siblings, Deacon was very, very concerned about you getting presents on your birthday, he took me aside more than once asking when we would shop for you and then when he could give you the Roblox gift card he picked out. Tahoe was our last delay of the inevitable and necessary return back to the summer suffering that is Phoenix, and it was a wonderful last few days.

This was my favorite summer trip we have all taken, maybe due to the amount of time we were together as a family, maybe due to how much beauty we saw, maybe because of the joy I saw each of you find in the places we went- and- at times- in one another. Your mother and you three are the best part of my life, everything else would be meaningless without you, I love you so much it hurts sometimes, and nothing will ever separate you from that love.

 

Cora- I took this picture of you at Bandon. I thought it was the perfect example of who you are, and what stage of life you are in. My daughter, whom I am so proud of, sitting alone, facing the expansive sea, full of possibilities, adventure and danger, on the cusp of womanhood. I don’t know what you were thinking while sitting there, but I found the moment beautiful. Middle school was my least favorite time of life. Everything feels uncomfortable, I rarely felt like I fit in anywhere, embarrassment was easy and contentment was hard, my emotions were as changing as the wind, I desperately wanted to feel older, and to be cool- and I was neither of those things. You as a teenager, are not easy to deal with all the time, its not your fault, its to be expected. I do love that I can talk with you, reason with you, slow things down with you- and that eventually, you will listen, and that I- get to listen to you, to what is going on in your heart, and your mind. You have wisdom and wit, beauty, confidence that I lacked at your age, and you still let me hug you, and you’ll still occasionally laugh at my silliness. Sometimes I long for the chubby baby, or little girl with the sweet voice, playing our make-believe games and you asking me to nap with you. I love that when I think of those things, and get sad that they are gone you still let me hug you for too long, that you don’t make me let go too soon, for a man who feels like all this growing up happened too soon. I love the girl/ teenager you are- and seeing the woman you will someday be, and that I get to be here to help you, and love you.

 

 

Quinn- I took this picture of you on the north fork of the Quinault River, near Wolf Bar camp. My sweet Quinn, eyes as blue and bright and lifegiving as the river behind you, exuding the joy I felt being with my family in that spot. You turned 8 years old on this trip, four years ago you turned 4 in Tahoe, this being the second birthday you’ve celebrated there- our summer girl. I love your spirit more than I can say, you persevere, you never once complained about being tired on the hikes, and you have smaller legs than any of us. You remarked about the beauty, found joy in playing with your brother, and a few times went skipping down the trail. It’s a good picture of your spirit- overflowing with joy. When I was filming Cora- who isn’t often that kind to you- to make fun of her for running from the insects, you came to her defense and warned her what I was doing as well as blocked my view. You are the defender in the family, quick to stick up for anyone you feel is being wronged. You also, like your brother, occasionally pull out great one liners, but yours typically have more sass to them! I always think you are gifted at being the baby of the family, the sweetness when we get sour, and the joy to keep us all afloat. I love you so much, and love the giant hugs you give me every night before bed when you squeeze me as tightly as you can and try to hold onto me so that I cannot go. 

Dad Turns 40

 

Well, 2024 has rolled around and with it so has my 40^th birthday. Honestly, I didn’t reflect on the passing of my 30’s to 40’s as much as one might think, I planned two major events- that I will delve into shortly, but overall it seemed a less than noteworthy passing. Although now reflecting on it I may have a different opinion.

So, to begin with, I pondered what I wanted to do for my 40^th. I thought about the things I loved, and outdoors, friends, adventure, bourbon and cigars came to mind. Keep in mind that this was not “what I love the most” type thinking- otherwise that would have revolved around you three, this was, if I could feel spoiled for a day what would that include. What I landed on was that I wanted to explore more of the west with people I loved, riding dirt bikes, hiking, hunting, shooting, smoking cigars, and drinking a rare bottle of bourbon I had been saving for 3 years (Thomas H Handy Sazerac). Also your mother and I are going to do a trip to New Zealand which has always been very high on my list of places to visit. I am going to note the friends I had accompany on my trip because I think its worthwhile: Nick Hutchens, Sean Bishop, Rory Starks, Ian Tomich, Ryan Stevens, Dan Martin, Kevin Art, and Cameron Wyatt. I wanted to note the names because in a strange way, I knew the 9 of us would never again be gathered together like this in the same place. Growing older means increasing in wisdom- if you are purposeful about it anyway- and wisdom nowadays is knowing that these types of things are rare, that life happens, and to never take anything for granted.

The weekend went off without a hitch. Everyone was able to show up, and we did everything I wanted to. I was able to share a toast with the guys I had by and large shared my adult life with, and I was able to sit quietly as the night grew longer, reflecting on what each of them meant to me, the life I had passed in this place I had hunted and explored through the years (Bloody Basin off the 1-17 north of Phoenix), and that a certain part of my life was over, never to be repeated. If I had one wish it would be that I could sit and tell each of those men what they meant to me. Some of them know- as when a close friend passed years ago I wrote 3 of them letters with very specific requests if that should happen to me (Sean, Ian, Rory) but the rest may not know, that is simply folly and awkwardness on my part.  Though as I have grown older I do much better with telling people what need be said, as I have seen that the hours and days are fleeting.

Now to the part that involves you three. My constant companion, perhaps the companion of all parents- the question that nags at us; do you know I love you, am I doing what I should to better your life, do you feel safe and loved, do you know that I am a flawed man, but that I do everything I can to make sure you have a better life than I had? Better life, what a trap of a phrase. From an American standpoint we may take it to mean richer, more abundant in possessions. What I mean is far from that. When I think of better life I think of freedom, knowing truth and goodness, surrounded by beauty, full of love and the peace that it brings, being understood and accepted for who we are, while still striving to better ourselves- not for ourselves- but so that others may benefit. If there is a judge and jury of this world on how I conducted my life it will be the three of you, and of course Mom who knows me better than anyone ever will. I feel that weight, and I should, as you are my God given responsibility. I also know acutely how I have failed you, and sometimes it haunts me. It is no great surprise to me that in a fallen world a fallen man has arrived short of his ideals and those that were set before him, but nevertheless, I reflect on all the times I could have done better as a father, your father.

When I turned 40, Cora you were 13, Deacon 10, Quinn 7. The things that were important to me: our vacations and adventures, showing you that money was not the ultimate goal, making sure you felt understood and loved where you were in life, making sure you knew I would always be there for you and love you no matter what, pushing you to be the best version of yourselves by telling you of all the lessons I had learned over the years the hard way, laughing and playing with you, being silly, cuddling before you were too big to not want to cuddle anymore, saying I was sorry when I was wrong and you were right, being excited about the things you were excited about, making sure you had experiences that would enrich your life, showing you what a man should be.

A glimpse into your father. As I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room in Olympia WA, I had work meetings today and then spent 3 hours driving to Mt Rainer and back because I wanted to see it, and I love driving alone through unfamiliar places and listening to music. All I desire is freedom, I often wish the world had 40% less people and that it was a wilder unexplored place so that I could discover it in solitude, or with a close group of adventuresome friends. I stopped and got a coffee a roadside stand and found a quiet forest road to park my rental car. I walked among the moss-covered forest giants and allowed myself to feel the cold winter air on my skin, sitting quietly in the soft rain that was falling, in the stillness, when people do not visit this forest, being happy for a time that it was just mine, for the reprieve it brought from the world at large, its troubles and distractions. I was, and am, very happy in that place, and a hundred places like it I have detoured and traveled to.

I was reflecting on the somewhat specific number of the past 17 year with your mother recently. It struck me that so much time had gone by, and in retrospect I had difficulty grasping the significant details during those years that transpired. Certainly there were the momentous occasions, your births, moves, vacations and so forth. However, intertwined there are a million other memories, moments, that are on the razors edge of my memory. Driving to GA wondering if I would ever have a second child as Deacon clung to life. Making great friends in a strange place, and them making us feel at home. Watching a cardinal in our backyard while I chopped wood in GA. Seeing your mother develop a certain level of fortitude living away from her parents for the first time. Watching our friends have children, and playing with them as infants (some of which are now taller than me and grown men). Seeing the sunset in distant lands after business trips that I had always dreamt about in college. Struggling with your mother to build a marriage we both needed. Feeling young, feeling old, being content with life, striving for a better life. Asking God what I should make of my life, surrendering, or trying to surrender, to what he would have my life be.

There is a quote I remember from a book I read long ago, about a Roman soldier visiting a graveyard. He came across a gravesite that had and inscription that read “as you are now, I once was, as I am now you someday will be”. When you are young you rejoice in your youth, and rightfully so. When you grow old you think back on it, long for certain aspects of it, and rejoice in some of the things you have now that you would never trade. I would never trade the three of you, when you came into our lives and how you shaped them, what you taught me, and how you helped me understand what true love was. No regrets is a bad and often misspelled tattoo, of course I have regrets, plenty, but the three of you- you are the meaning to my life, the exclamation points, the highlights, the purpose that drives it all. I am my own man, and deep down these pages are so that you can know the man that is your father, you shape me, give me meaning, give me a reason to be. 40 years have gone by, for 13 of them I was a father, for the rest of them until I am gone I will be a father, yours, yours only. I love you, and of all the things I am, I am proud to be yours.

 

Cora, since the last time I wrote you turned 13! Officially a teenager. Mom took you to Paris and you had a wonderful time together. I guess I should note what you did: explored Versailles, fashion tour, the Louvre, cooking classes, macaroon making class, Eifel tower, buying a Pauline bag with mom, generally having a much finer 13^th than I ever did! What to say to a 13 year old who is embarrassed by most things I do around her….. well- by the time you read this you will have grown out of that, perhaps you will even have your own children by the time you are reading this. Just last night before I took off on a work trip, I was telling you goodnight as I might leave before you were awake in the morning. You came and sat next to me on the couch and I took you in my arms and hugged you, and started trying to chew on your arms and wrists saying “where is my chubby baby girl” we laughed as it has been forever since you were my tiny chubbly baby. Today in the airport I was reflecting on the moment, happy, so happy to have had it. Knowing for a short time you are still mine, still a piece of you that wants to be held and loved by her father. You are my responsible girl, most like me of all three of you, including the bad parts of me I try and help you notice…. Your brother and sister love you and when you are kind to them they glow, they light up, and I see a complete happiness in them that is rare. You love Taylor Swift, your new rabbit Smokey (who is just so sweet) you went on a date with a boy kind of and then I made you be nice and not ghost him when you were not interested (Biltmore date, with Rory Pinkerton as 3^rd wheel for safety). You are growing into a wonderful woman, and I struggle to realize that by the time I turn 50 you will in all likelihood be married and perhaps even have a child (you say you want 8). I love you so much, my first, and only, chubby baby. One other note, the other night you were kind of mad at me- I forget about what, but I was saying goodnight to you and I was remembering how when you were younger you would always want me to nap with you in your bed. I was thinking that those days are so long gone, but part of my heart ached that they were, that I didn’t remember when the last time was you asked. I know you still need me, but I think it hurts all dads when we look back at those moments that have to pass, knowing we didn’t cherish them enough before they did.

 

Quinn, I have rarely seen sweetness so personified, you feel…. Deeply, in all things. That can be a blessing and a burden, but for our family it has been a blessing. The degree to which you love, and rejoice is so pure and radiant. You are so quick to come to the defense of one of us or anyone you feel is being picked on. You have a quick wit and an ability to make us all crack up with your one liners. We finally signed you up for horseback lessons and you have been loving them, I do not think we will ever be a horse family, but for now we are indulging the desires of your sweet heart. I took you on a father daughter night recently, we shared some ice cream filled doughnuts, explored around Desert Ridge, and played a bunch of racing games and Dave and Busters. You told me multiple times that I was the best Daddy ever, and it made me feel wonderful inside. I have been too hard on your sweet heart sometimes, mostly involving math homework (much to my shame as I am terrible at math), those things always make me cringe and filled with remorse and regret. I guess I want you to read this someday and know that I am well aware of the times I failed you,  when I let the stress of the day and my aggravation override my responsibility to be at my best for you. I am really sorry, and I love and cherish you dearly.

For Marsha

 

You were just barely 4 years old, small, white, fluff covered with light brown spots. We called you a wild rabbit because you resisted capture anytime we came to collect you from your outside running area. You were known officially as Marshmallow however, you were commonly called Marsha, Fluffbutt, fatty, and Mallow Mallow. We loved petting your soft fur far more than you seemed to enjoy it, though you did love nose and head pets in the morning. You often got treats of strawberry tops, apple, spinach, broccoli, and your favorite, bananas.

                You were the first time I saw my children really grieve. They all loved you, and I loved you. A small, innocent, often scared creature that was ours to love and care for. We loved you in spite of your less than stellar personality, because you were part of our family. We found you on a Saturday morning, and buried you in between two fichus trees in our backyard in a spot you would have liked. We put carrots and rose leaves which you were also very fond of in your box with you. All the children took care to make your resting place beautiful. Deacon made a cross with your name on it. Quinn and Cora painted some rocks and placed some leaves on your grave. Cora who loved you the most cried all day, you were as she often said “her child”.

                Thank you for being part of our family, the time is always too short, regardless if it is 4 years or 40. It is a testament to the spirit God placed inside of us that we have such capacity to love all creatures, even tiny ferocious, occasionally sweet ones. Thank you for teaching my children about their responsibility to care for and love living things, for teaching them that death is an unfortunate and inevitable part of life, and that we cannot take our tomorrows for granted. My favorite was when I would let you run in the front yard until your heart was content. You would do your sprint runs, happy wild hops, chew on leaves, and then run in circles around me until you came close wanting some love. You made me think of the rabbit I had growing up, named Buster. We loved you, we will miss you, and remember you.

UK Summer Trip 2023

 

Summer vacation 2023 was the trip we meant to take back in 2021 before the worlds fear of covid shut it down, what a waste all that fear ended up being, thankfully we did not let it rob of our precious time. The UK finally opened its borders, and so we embarked upon a two-week trip of exploration.

We began in the massive city of London, checking into an AirBNB that was neither clean nor quite how it was pictured online…. A few hours of frustration later they had it mostly cleaned up, though one of the showers was less than useful and made a God-awful noise when the water was turned on it ended up being an ok base for our exploration. We stayed in Camden Town, which seemed to be about 15min from all the major stops we were making on the tube and bus lines. Navigating those with you guys was kind of fun, and very foreign to our western US culture of almost never utilizing mass transit. Quinn, you seemed to try and assert your independence whenever the crowds were the most crushing by pulling your hand away, which we immediately grabbed back and held on to all the tighter!

The main sights we explored were Westminster Abby, The Tower of London, Tower Bridge, Parliament, Westminster and a few other odds and ends. The weather was perfect for us, your health however, was not quite. Deacon you were hacking up a lung at times, and sprang about 3 nosebleeds a day for the first few days. Cora your lungs got progressively worse as well. We had two really good days seeing the sights in London but then you guys started really struggling, more on that later. Deacon as always you loved the arms and armaments, Cora you seemed to enjoy the architecture, food, and along with your sister the crown jewels in the Tower. The old moat area around the tower was really beautiful as they had it planted with all these wonderful wildflowers, we got some great pictures out there in the sunshine. We also all went up to The Shard- 88 floors above the city, and we had a perfectly clear day to take in the view. After we strolled along the river and while mom and I had coffee Deacon and Quinn chased each other around a small park and played some games they made up. When we went up to the Tower Bridge there is a glass walkway- I guess its probably about 20 stories or so up above the water, so when you walk out on the glass you are just seemingly walking on air. Deacon you were the first to venture out, so I guess you take the prize for being the bravest, followed very shortly by your sisters. When we went down to the bottom they pulled up the bridge while a navy ship passed underneath, it was a really cool moment as the crew was on deck and waiving goodbye. Quinn and Deacon you couldn’t see so I put one of you in each of my arms and held you up so you could get a better view.

Our first foray from the city was an all-day bus tour of Warwick Castle, the Cotswolds including Stratford upon Avon, as well as Oxford. This was also the first day that you guys felt really lousy, Cora and Deacon anyway. You two slept on the bus between stops, and when we did stop you basically sat in one spot while Mom, Quinn and I explored a little bit. Deacon you briefly lit up at Warwick when we got you a cool helmet and bow and arrow, but you were just feeling really lousy, we also got you guys some ice cream there but it didn’t do much to revive you. The stop in Oxford was fun, I had been there for work but coming back to experience it with you was great. We strolled around for a bit with the tour guide, Quinn you kept at the head of the pack the whole time, even without us, always being brave and bold like you are. After the walking tour I stayed put with you three as you were all tuckered out and Mom went off to explore some more. The only downside to seeing so much in a day is you only kind of scratch the surface of each place you visit.

We tried sleeping in the next day as Cora and Deacon were still not feeling well, and then took our first rail trip to Bath. I got us on the wrong train the first time, but luckily we ended up going in the right direction and quickly switched to the correct one a few stops down the line! I had paid extra for the first-class tickets, which I think was worth it, you guys all got a kick out of the seat size, food options, and Cora you mostly sat by yourself near as we could find seats, being the oldest and most capable, hope you didn’t feel left out but such is life traveling as a family of five. Bath itself was a beautiful city, used as a spa retreat since the Romans came to England’s shores, from there the city kept growing. Unfortunately you guys were struggling pretty hard again, so we really just strolled around a little, took in one of the more scenic spots where the river runs through the city, and then headed home to London. In a fun turn of events Quinn threw up that night, and I ended up sleeping on this little fold out couch with a nice hard metal bar running down the center so she could sleep with Mom.

Our boat tour of the Dover cliffs was canceled due to high winds, so we decided to take a recovery day in London. Deacon you slept for about 13 hours. We just lazed around and tried to give your bodies some rest so we could get the trip back on track, so it ended up working out, though someday I hope we get to see Dover together.

The next day Cora and Deacon were feeling much better, Quinn still not so great, but we left London and headed via train to York. The rail journey was beautiful, traveling through the countryside. Cora I think you snuck about 3 sodas, Deacon you sampled some of the food the English are known for, such treats as Cheese and Pickle sandwiches and Coronation Chicken…. Interesting to say the least. Quinn you did ok but mostly napped. I got the idea to find Quinn a wheelchair in York so she wouldn’t get exhausted and prolong her illness (which mom and I were also starting to feel). Quinn when I showed up at the hotel with the wheelchair you kind of felt like Royalty, and Cora of course gave you grief for being spoiled. The wheelchair turned out to be a hit cause we did quite a bit of walking and it got us to the front of a very long line for the Viking museum. I didn’t request special treatment but they came and found us in line and we didn’t pass up the offer! That night in York we did a ghost tour which you guys all really enjoyed- just true old stories from such an old city. We had fun exploring “the shambles” an old area of the city with fascinating architecture and history.

From York we headed north once again to Edinburg Scotland. We arrived on a beautiful sunny day and were delighted to find a much better rental waiting for us at the end of the Royal Mile. You guys wanted to relax and Deacon you found Jaws on the tv so Mom and I took a quick walk to the top of a nearby hill and got a beautiful view over the city, complete with someone playing the bagpipes below us. The next morning I had a wheelchair delivered and off we went to explore. We did another walking tour but the highlights for you guys were the fantastic National Museum of Scotland and the Royal Castle. Quinn’s wheelchair got her a ride to the top of the castle through the same tunnel that the Queen used to use, we also were pointed out to some wheelchair accessible bathrooms that we had to ourselves. The view was incredible, a bit chilly as Scotland is, but we got some fun photos of you all by the cannons overlooking the city. One super fun story is that Quinn still wasn’t feeling 100% so at a pub we stopped by for lunch she started feeling ill, and needed to throw up, and the only thing we had handy was a water bottle that I held while she puked a few times, thankfully quietly…. Ah the joys of illness while traveling. Luckily that was about the end of the sicknesses impact on the family.

Then came a day I was almost equal parts excited and nervous about- the day I would drive in the UK for the first time, and the day we would handle birds of prey! We rented a smaller SUV- I think the exact same volvo we rented in Spain, and headed about an hours drive north to a small town where we found the falconry school. It was set in a beautiful location near a stream with farm fields and small wooded areas spread throughout. We started by handling 3 little White Faced Scops Owls, they fritted about and would sometimes land 3 at a time on our arms. They had beautiful orange eyes and you all had so much fun handling and observing them as we took a pleasant little walk through wildflowers and woods. Next up we moved to something native to home, the Harris Hawk. Our bird was 23 years old, but smart and agile, swooping down from nearby treetops to land gracefully on our arms for her reward. Our guide told us unlike dogs or some other domesticated animals the handler serves the birds, not the other way around, the birds have high expectations of their handlers, and trust can easily be broken. We then took a quick break for sodas for you guys and coffee for mom and I at a nearby café, then returned for the final two birds we would handle. Next up was a Red-Tailed Kite. We didn’t so much handle as watch an aerobatic display she put on, zooming close to the ground, darting up high, and making sudden and steep turns effortlessly. Our grand finale was a beautiful south American Black Chested Buzzard Eagle. She soared high on the thermals and then when we raised our glove came swooping down, almost to ground level and then at the last moment would fly up and land, wings outstretched on our gloved hands ever so gently.  It was a highlight watching you all handle the birds, and experience the same joy at the beauty of their flight and feathered artwork of bodies.

Our next journey was to the Isle of Sky, about a 4 hour drive north. By this time I was nearly an old hand and driving on the wrong side of the road, thankfully I only had to drive in the big city of Edinburg once! Our rental on the Isle of Sky was spectacular. We had a wonderful view of the sea, and it was a great layout for our family. The night we arrived we were tired from the long but beautiful drive there, including a stop at Stirling Castle. We sat down at the most expensive meal we would have on the trip- after sitting outside in the cold wind while mom and I had gin and tonic. The meal wasn’t great but watching deacon eat the Langoustines- kind of like small lobsters was a lot of fun, for a kid who is picky about food he took joy in using the plyers and getting every bit of meat he could from them!

Driving around Sky was wonderful, often little one way roads that had many pull offs where you could let traffic pass. All around there was spectacular scenery and areas open for exploration. We did a hike to the Fairy Pools, following a stream that originated in the dramatic mountains above, sloping down emerald curves to feed its crystal clear waters. You guys all complained at first, as is common, but once we hit the trail and began to explore you perked up and began to have fun and enjoy it. Also- snacks always helped, knowing I had a backpack full of goodies to be distributed at various rest stops always aided your legs in carrying onward. I enjoyed all the hikes, sitting and taking in the beautiful vistas, often Deacon and Quinn would play some made up game, Cora you more often also sat and enjoyed the views, pondering things you mostly kept to yourself. We continued to explore and one morning also took a boat ride to Lake Coruisk. Along the way we saw many seals, and after departing the boat had another spectacular place almost to ourselves. The day had started off cold but quickly warmed up, you three and mom “lizarding” as Cora phrased it, on some dark volcanic rocks, while I took the other approach and removed all my clothing for a swim, or at least tried to. I ended up getting about halfway in before I realized the deeper it got the colder it got and perhaps it wasn’t the best idea. Cora you came down and asked me what I was doing, when you found out I was naked (cause I told you, you couldn’t see anything due to me being halfway underwater) you quickly said “gross” and headed back for your rocks!

After three nights in Sky we reluctantly left and headed north to the village of Ballater in Cairngorms National Park. The first day we explored the Royal families summer home, which was of course quite lovely. I enjoyed the woods around it quite a bit, with a picturesque river flowing nearby. We also did a really nice hike that had a bunch of great overlooks through the woods, different than Sky but equally beautiful to me. You guys once again loved the snacks, we found some Nutella “biscuts” as the Brits would say that were a particular highlight. Speaking of sweets we also found our favorite ice cream place during the entire trip in our village in Ballater. Quinn your highlight of the trip was a horseback ride we did on our last day. The four of you rode Norwegian Fjord horses, while I got the worlds tallest horse, thankfully for me he was quite well behaved and responsive, as I was determined not to let him sense my unease that I always get on horseback. We had a great ride through some countryside, and one stream crossing where mom and Quinns horses decided to cool themselves by splashing water with their front legs directly up and behind them! Mom got particularly soaked.

The drive back to Edinburg for our flight home was uneventful, the last night in Scotland was tons of fun as the five of us shared a too small hotel room that I booked. Deacon you and I managed to sleep in a twin size bed, somehow Cora finagled a twin all to herself while Mom and Quinn managed on a full-size sofa bed.

I had so much fun exploring with you all. I love our family trips, there is difficulty, sharing tight spaces and some bickering, but there are also many sweet moments and memories that I will cherish when someday you are all much older and starting families of your own. 

Cora, this year so far has been a lot of volleyball and you getting a lot older all of a sudden! You love Taylor Swift, calling yourself a Swiftie. I embrace that but exhort you to also find some other artists to spread the love some. You are very careful with your money, well over $1,000 saved, you say its for a phone, but we are not sure when you are getting one of those just yet. You get funnier and funnier- in a very clever sort of way, and you are very clever with some of the stuff you come up with and comments you make. It always cracks me up and I see a lot of myself and personality in you. I also enjoy slowing down and having more in depth discussions with you, often about conflicts you are having with us or your siblings. When we slow down we are able to connect logically as well as emotionally, and we are both better able to hear one another. Sometimes I think you feel left out, or that we are harder on you, or favor Quinn, but when I get to spend time talking with you I think I do a good job of healing those hurts and explaining that we love you all equally and in some ways uniquely as you are all uniquely created by God with special gifts, talents, and personalities that flow from it. You make me proud all the time with your responsibility and good choices, and your ability to have fun and make wonderful friends. Watching you grow is fills me with pride, but there are pangs of sadness as well as the little girl I knew fades further and further away. Sometimes Facebook shows me old photos or a memory of you singing frozen songs in dress up dresses pops into my head and I hurt a little cause it seems so long ago. The joy of who you are becoming doesn’t mean I am fully ready to let go of who you were, and I wonder sometimes which memories will endure, for me, and for you.

 

Quinn, Perhaps it is the same in all families that the youngest of the group is usually the light and laughter. You have a bright personality, capable of great joy and great grief in quite momentous swings. I worry sometimes already about the teenage years as you will be different from your sister. Cora seems to bend more on the logic side of response, where as you seem to bend very strongly towards the emotional. Neither is better or worse, just different and each needs to be understood for its shortcomings so one cand find the healthy balance in life. I love how completely you love, how generous you are with you affection, how you defend us all and so often compliment and praise. We all refer to you as the family cheerleader. You give me the biggest and best hugs, and usually when you are very upset I can still cheer you up with a song. Sometimes you will be angry or sad about something and pouting in your bed, ill come to lay next to you and you’ll ignore me or say go away, but when I start to sing you’ll relax and slowly roll over and throw your arms around my neck and give me a big hug. I think your heart needs to know a bit more often than some, how loved you are, and I always have to work on being patient and gentle with you. A few times I have not been, but when I ask you for forgiveness you always are so quick to give it, though I still feel regret and shame with how upset I get at times. My nature is to be hard on myself, I am getting much better about not having that same approach with each of you. I loved our time in Scotland together, exploring with you and seeing the bold independent bravery you tackle the world with.