I had a conversation with a young woman a few weeks ago. We were discussing the guy she was seeing, who her family was not very fond of, and who had not treated her in the best way. A week or so after that we went to one of your mothers’ friend’s wedding- Alexis Butler. As I held you and watched them exchange vows I began to think of what makes a man worthy of a good woman, or perhaps more simply, what makes a great man. Who would I want you to marry someday?

One of the questions I asked the young woman was, “what do you respect about your boyfriend?” I cant say she had a complete answer. Someday I will ask you the same thing, what do you respect about the man you want to marry. As they say respect is something you earn, it’s something that comes from others observing how you live your life and the quality with which you carry yourself. When I think of a man worthy of respect I think of these traits: selflessness, courage, leadership, stewardship, tenderness, wisdom, faithfulness, honesty, ambition, and perhaps most importantly humility.

Of the traits I just mentioned, I am by no means well rounded. Of all the things humility is the best starting point for the others, I put it at the end only for emphasis. Your mother has certainly humbled me, right down to my core, sometimes to the point where I hated her. It was not my heart that hated her though; it was my pride, my sinful nature, my selfishness raging against her heart that cried out for mine to be humble. It is one thing to be humble before God, he isn’t necessarily around to tell you when you are not being so, it is another thing altogether to be humble to another person. Humility has been my greatest teacher, and my most challenging stumbling block, but without it no man is complete, and without it no man can ever truly love.

Someday love will come, along with a lot of other men that are not love. It will be up to you to separate the wheat from the chaff. I hope you have the wisdom of your mother, and when you marry, I hope you have the strength to endure the pains of love that come with the joys. I hope you choose a man who is growing, that cares about many things more than himself, and above them all you. I hope he has the traits I wrote of. Mostly, and most terrifyingly, I hope that you will, having had me as a father, know exactly the kind of man you should marry. I will do my best not to fail you, to be the example you deserve, and to always be learning how to be a better husband to your mother, and father to you. I love you sweet girl.