Thanksgiving is right around the corner. One day to focus on all that we
are truly thankful for in life, to count our blessings, and I suppose survey
our disappointments. This year has not been bereft of disappointment, it has hung
like a fog around your mother and I, the children we hoped for, and never got
to know. It would seem strange to read it in these pages, as if I dwell upon it
without ceasing, but please know my life is full, and you have made it
overflow.
I have never known such good grace from God. He has given me your mother
to make me a better man, and then you through your mother to continue that work
even more. I am grateful for this, that you have shown me what it is to love
without ceasing, hesitation, and even knowledge of why or how I could love so
completely. The smallest moments with you are greater than so many others I
used to cling to. I would not trade or part with those moments for all the
things this world tells me to seek after- all the material and physical
pleasure and pursuits in this life are nothing compared to the joy of having
you as my daughter, and your mother as my wife.
If everything in my life I hold dearly to fell away, as someday it must,
I would still be blessed. My house, car, career, could vanish and yet I would
have blessings. It is too simple to expect only good, and scoff at the
misfortune that comes into your life as if you warrant a better hand than the
one you were dealt. I know what I would have earned on my own, and it would be
bleak indeed.
I did not earn the blessings in my life, so how could I complain when the
misfortune I did earn comes to visit me? If I have one hope for you it is that
you do not expect a perfect life, so that you will be grateful for the
blessings within the imperfect one you live. In that way you can savor them,
thank God for them, and treasure them as true gifts.
It may have been sometime since I last wrote, you are recently two years
old, your blonde hair has grown longer and your eyes even brighter. You give me
great big hugs and enjoy cuddling on the couch. You often times break into
song, and will repeat things I have said weeks after word that I had no idea
you even heard in the first place. When I get you up in the morning and open
your curtains you always exclaim “it’s a beautiful day”. I hope that never
changes, I love your innocence and unadulterated joy in such small things.
All my days I am thankful for you. I love you always and nothing will
ever separate you from that love.
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