Stopping Rivers

Cora, Quinn, I have been thinking a lot about you two lately, and many of those thoughts have been on why deep down there is a part of me that feels more comfortable raising boys. I have thought on it for some time and decided it boils down to this, I feel like someday I will lose you both, that I am fighting a battle to hold onto something that will inevitably slip through my fingers. When I say lose you I mean in the sense you will grow up and find a wonderful man to share your life with. You will go from being my little cuddly girls to being someone’s wife, and I already feel like I will miss you terribly.

I for some reason don’t feel the same about Deacon. I don’t imagine the same separation from me, perhaps because he will someday be a man I go to times we will hang out and go hunting or hiking. I would hope I could do the same with you both after you are married- or whatever activity you would like to do. I don’t dread you growing older (don’t love it either!) my wish isn’t that you would stay single and forever be dependent on me, my hopes and prayers are far from that.

I pray that you both choose wisely who to spend your precious and valuable time with, and even more selectively, who you share your love with. I pray that you spend your days pursuing a full and rich life, be it becoming a nurse like your mother, an engineer (hope you don’t get my math skills…), or going into the business world like your father. If I am being honest here I don’t much support following your passions to be a dancer, or artist, I always felt those were more of hobbies…. But nonetheless if you do, and you are fulfilled, then I will be fulfilled.

I pray that if you are to be married it is to a man who is worthy of you, and that you can respect. I hope he adores you as I do, values your heart and cares for your soul. I pray that when you are married you feel a deep peace and contentment, and that the love between you and your spouse will grow, and be strong when tested, and gentile when needed. When the day comes to walk you down the aisle I will be there beside you, and if ever you need me after or before that hour I will be found, by your side.

You are my pieces of innocence in a world that is not innocent. You are the best parts of life and hope. Every day I watch you grow and change, and with each of those days you are less of my little girls, slowly and inevitably as the river flows into the sea, you will become women. I don’t wish to dam the river; I just regret the current is so fast. I love you two so much, I am so grateful I get to be your father and so humbled by the awesome task. I love you and love you, and love you and love you.